Boredom in a marriage or any other relationship can be a dealbreaker for a lot of people. Find out what to do if your relationship got boring and what to do if you always get bored in relationships.
When you first meet someone you like, it can be the most exciting feeling in the world. Every day together seems like a new adventure, and the thrill of this feeling is better than words can express. Over time, that excitement and newness wears off, and sometimes, you are left with a dull relationship you don’t even want to bother with anymore. You’re not the only one who has ever felt that way. Relationship boredom is real, and it happens all the time. Join SpiritualBlossom to learn about the ugly reality of relationship boredom and find out if it’s happening in your once fun and exciting relationship. What if you are someone who always gets bored with relationships after a while? There are reasons we will explore that it might be happening. Combating relationship boredom is something you can do no matter how monotonous things have become, though, and we will show you ways to do that. Read all the way to the end and find out how to put the fun back into your relationships and never get bored with them again!
What is Relationship Boredom?
Relationship boredom is when you become bored with your relationship or the person you are in the relationship with. It can happen with new relationships, or with long-term relationships. It can leave you wondering if there is any point in being involved with someone anymore, and relationship boredom doesn’t just affect romantic relationships. Friends get bored with their relationships sometimes too. It can make you think you are better off breaking up, especially if you have just met the person who you get bored with.
Does relationship boredom lead to breakups? It can. It can also lead to infidelity in marriages. When you don’t believe you can have a life with someone anymore, you might look for someone else to do the things that you used to do together. Relationship boredom can happen in the best of relationships, though, so you don’t immediately have to terminate your relationship just because of some boredom. If you do end up breaking up or divorcing due to boredom or any other reason, you will survive. Read how to survive a divorce here: Surviving Your Divorce
Do All Relationships Get Boring?
They can, but they don’t necessarily. What happens is when we are in a new relationship, our bodies react a certain way. It releases something wonderful called dopamine when you are in a new relationship. Cleveland Clinic says, “Dopamine is part of your reward system. The system is designed from an evolutionary standpoint to reward you when you're doing the things that you need to do to survive- eat, drink, compete to survive and reproduce. As humans our brains are hardwired to seek out behaviors that release dopamine in our reward system. When you're doing something pleasurable, your brain releases a large amount of dopamine. You feel good and you seek more of that feeling.” Read more from Cleveland Clinic here; Dopamine: What It Is, Function & Symptoms
New relationships release a lot of dopamine. However, as time goes by, we get less and less dopamine with the people as we're getting to know them. New and exciting experiences are replaced by routines. Some people assume that they have “ fallen out of love” or that they become bored with someone when the dopamine levels drop. It's not that. It's just that the pleasure centers and excitement chemicals aren't being released as much. Maybe it’s not as much fun when there's not as much dopamine being produced, but that doesn't mean the relationship itself has become boring.
Some people become complacent in relationships and stop trying to have fun with the person who loves them. Some people also settle into routines their loved one finds dull, and they feel like doing things together has become pointless. Lack of communication makes this worse, especially when the person who feels bored or dissatisfied is ignored by their loved one. Some people need to expand their lives and grow by experiencing new things, and the person they love resists this- which can create boredom and a feeling of stagnation in life.
Signs You Are Bored with Your Relationship
Not everybody gets bored with their relationship, but there are some signs to tell if you are. If you don't look forward to seeing someone you're probably bored of the relationship. If you're not interested in one another's lives and you don't even plan for a future together you're probably bored with a relationship. If you're happier spending time with other people than you are with each other and you actually avoid each other you're definitely bored with the relationship.
You Don’t Look Forward to Seeing Them
If you don't look forward to seeing someone you might be bored with your relationship with them. Relationships are supposed to make our lives better and that is something that we always look forward to with happy anticipation. If somebody is not contributing to your life in any way, you're not going to care about seeing them. For whatever reason, if you find someone's presence in your life so boring you're not excited when you know that you're going to get together with them, you're bored with a relationship. Want love advice? Find it here: The Best Advice for Love
You’re Not Interested in Each Other’s Lives
Did you ever know somebody who had the most boring life that you ever heard of? Were you ever involved with somebody who did not care about what you had going on in your own life? When you're not interested in what you have going on in one another's lives, you're bored with your relationship. It may be because you don't share the same interests, or it might be because you're just done with the relationship and the boredom is a sign of that. If you're invested in the relationship though, you should really care about what your friends and loved ones have going on in their lives.
You Don’t Plan for a Future Together
You plan for the future with the people who you choose to spend your life with. If your future plans don't involve someone, that might be because you're bored with the relationship that you have with them. When we plan for the future, quite often we are excited and happy about great possibilities. You're not going to want to take people along who won't make the journey interesting, will you? Not planning for a future with someone could also mean that you don't feel like they fit with your life, but if they bore you that could cause that. Read about life changes and new beginnings here: How to Manifest Your Life After Changes
You Prefer the Company of Other People
If you would rather be around other people, you may be bored with the relationship. You may even have friends who you have disagreements with every so often to at least make things interesting, so you enjoy their company. Somebody who does not stimulate you intellectually, or make you laugh could bore you to sleep. Of course, friendships aren't designed to entertain, but fun people make friendships better. If you'd rather be around someone else, you might be bored with the relationship.
You Avoid Each Other
Avoiding someone could be a sign of boredom with the relationship. Avoiding each other isn't going to solve any problems though, so eventually, you may want to sit down and have a conversation about ending things. Then again, you may want to sit down and have a conversation about making things better, so much better it reminds you of the way things were when you first met. It never hurts to try, but sometimes a relationship is over. If you can't stand to be around someone you may be so bored with them, you're just not willing to make things work out. You may also be avoiding a narcissist, but how can you tell if someone is one? Read here to find out: Loving a Narcissist
What if You Always Get Relationship Boredom?
If you always get relationship boredom no matter what relationship you’re in, there are a few reasons this could happen. Be assured you aren’t the only one who feels this way, but it is you- not other people. You might be choosing the wrong people for relationships. You might also view people as a way to have fun or be entertained instead of seeing them as human beings with feelings. You might only want the thrill of new relationships and move on from people once the initial excitement wears off.
You Choose the Wrong People
It is quite possible that you have a pattern of choosing boring people. There's nothing wrong with being a boring person, and there's plenty of good-hearted boring people that would be very devoted in relationships with you. But if you find yourself bored over and over again in relationships, especially if the people who bore you all share the same traits, it's your choice of people. Maybe they're not spontaneous, or maybe they don't want to do any of the things that you're interested in, but if you stop choosing people who bore you, you might not be bored in relationships as often.
You See Relationships as Entertainment
Some people only want other people around to entertain them. Some people only date so people can buy them lavish dinners and gifts, and other people are only friends with people who they think are exciting and edgy. The allure of a new relationship with a fun person or someone who buys you things and entertains you may wear off over time because it's impossible for you to be happy with people unless they're performing for you. If you're having this type of problem, speak with a counselor and they can help you to identify why you view people this way and find out how to break that cycle.
You’re Addicted to The Thrills
The joy from the dopamine rush of new relationships is something that some people quest for on a daily basis. When that allure rubs off, some people will abandon their relationship because they become bored without it. If you constantly need the thrilling rush of new people, your relationships are completely structured around just doing that and until you break that habit you're going to have a difficult time maintaining relationships long-term.
How to Combat Relationship Boredom
Relationship boredom is easy to deal with by doing a few simple things. Remember how much you care about each other- which is the reason you are in each other’s lives to begin with. Then, seek out new experiences to enjoy together. Most importantly, don’t fall into the trap of expecting perfect relationships or for everything to be extremely fun all the time.
Remember the Love
What brought you together in the first place? If boredom sets in, remember the whole reason you spend time together. Is that worth losing because one or both of you feels bored? Probably not. We need relationships and that means we need each other. More than that we choose the people we WANT those relationships with. Remember that, and don’t let momentary boredom come between you. Make sure to tell people you love them too, but when should you do that? Find out here: When Should I Tell Him I Love Him?
Experience New Things Together
The secret to kicking boredom is to go do new things. In relationships, you should do those new things together. Some people will take classes together or go on trips, but those things are not always affordable. Don’t worry though, because there are a lot of inexpensive new things you can do. Instead of eating out at the usual place, eat out somewhere else, or try some new recipes at home together. Hit a different nature trail on your evening walks together. Experience a new kind of music together or go for a free seminar or talk at a bookstore together. Life is full of new, wonderful experiences, so go experience them together!
Let Go of Fairy Tales
It is very important to accept that new relationships are exciting, but as we are in relationships longer, that excitement can wear off. Don’t expect every moment of every relationship to be a fun, exciting time that makes you ecstatically joyous. Relationships can be hard work and have ups and downs, and that is not fun. We have to help each other when we are in need, comfort each other when we are sad, and put up with each other’s worst habits in relationships. There is no ‘happily ever after” in relationships. Don’t set your relationships up for disappointment by expecting everything to be fun and perfect, because that never happens. Friends make life better, and you can read about the love of friends here: All About the Love of Friends
Relationship boredom isn’t the end of the world, but it could be the beginning of the end of your relationship. Relationships are most exciting in the beginning, but as time goes on, people can establish routines within their relationships that make things feel overly repetitive for some people. Other people live for the thrill of new things and go through relationships like tissues in the quest for a constant rush of excitement. Relationship boredom can be combatted by remembering how much you love one another, experiencing new things together, and letting go of unrealistic expectations of having fairy tale relationships. Your relationships don’t have to be boring unless you let them be. May you always find joy and excitement in relationships with wonderful people. So Be It.
Would you like some tips about how you can bring the fun back into a relationship? Get a reading started with one of our psychics to find out how today!
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for The Green Egg Magazine and PaganPages.Org emag.
