Moving on from a bad relationship can seem impossible when people are not sorry, but it can be done. Find out how to move on from a bad falling out and get your own closure.
When relationships end, for whatever reason, most of us need some type of emotional closure, or we feel like we can’t move forward with our lives. Without it, some people feel emotionally trapped in the end of the relationship, and they can’t heal. Join SpiritualBlossom to find out what this closure is and why a lot of people can’t move on without it. Find out why things end to begin with and how to get closure with someone else’s participation. To be honest, we can’t always have that, so we have to get closure on our own. We will show you how you can get that. Closure with the other person isn’t always possible- but you can get it on your own anyway. Read on to begin.
What is Closure?
Closure is that sense of satisfying resolution you get when a relationship is over. It’s understanding that a relationship is over and why that happened. It’s a feeling of completion, and it means all questions are answered and there are no doubts about anything. This includes acceptance that things are over. It doesn’t mean nobody’s feelings were hurt or that one or both of you wish things had not ended. It just means you feel a sense of an ending and it allows you to move forward without the relationship or the person you had it with.
You can release hurt or resentment, and focus on moving into other relationships. You accept that this relationship is no longer in your life, and you understand why. Closure means you understand what happened and you have some peace about the ending. Physically, closure means you are no longer in each other’s lives and emotionally, it means you can carry on in life without the relationship and not feel broken. You might even glow up when you get closure. Find out about glow ups after breakups here:Glow Ups After Breakups - How to Do Them
Why We Can’t Move On
Some people can’t move on without emotional closure from a relationship. They have unanswered questions sometimes and do not understand why things could not work out. Some people have things they want to say to the person they were in a relationship with, and the other person won’t talk to them. Some people were badly hurt, but the person who hurt them was not sorry. Some people sacrificed a lot for the relationship, gave it their all, and the other person just didn’t appreciate them.
A lot of people can’t move on if the other person does not provide the closure they feel they need. How could they say or do what they did? How could they disregard their feelings? How could they act like the relationship meant nothing? It happens more often than you would think. Some people are in shock that the relationship meant so little to the other person and they don’t feel they got the apology, validation, or explanation they deserve. So, emotionally, they find it difficult to put things behind them. They may have even rejected someone after a long relationship. Find out how to deal with rejection here: Dealing with Being Rejected
Why Do Things End?
Some people say things end when it’s time. Maybe we were supposed to be in a situation until we grew beyond it or got what we needed from it. Then, the universe moves us forward when we no longer belong there. The same could be said for relationships. Some people say that some relationships last a lifetime. Others last for a short time. We are brought into each other’s lives for a reason. We help each other in some way and then move on to other people who either help us or who we help.
Some people say they don’t believe that. Relationships end when we no longer belong in each other’s lives. Things don’t necessarily go wrong. While falling outs, deal breakers, and broken trust ends plenty of relationships, plenty of other relationships end quietly. We grow apart by growing in such a way that we just don’t fit together anymore. It’s not easy, but it happens. There may be warning signs that your heart is about to be broken. Read some signs that is happening here: Signs You’re About to be Broken Hearted
Moving Forward with Closure
Sometimes, you get closure with the person you fell out with. Those are good times. You both get to have your say, listening to one another. Then, you part agreeably. Both of you feel satisfied. There is a powerful peace that comes along with leaving a relationship or situation on these terms.
Have Your Say
One thing that helps people to have closure is getting things off their chest. Telling the person how they feel about what happened or the end of the relationship could be all the closure that some people need. Knowing that they have heard you and understand your feelings can be a big help. You may have put a lot of time and effort into your relationship. Openly communicating with someone who you shared with all that time can be a perfect way to get closure. Tell them what's in your heart.
Listen to Their Side
Be prepared that this is not a one way conversation though. Give them an opportunity to say what's in their heart also. A lot of times we assume that we are right and the person who we broke things off with was a villain in our lives. That might not be the case. Even if nobody did anything wrong, honoring the love that you shared with this person can be done by listening to what they have to say. They listened to you. Now it's your turn to listen to them. Find out what it truly means to listen here: How to Become Great at Listening
Part on Good Terms
One or both of you may be very unhappy that you're parting ways. That doesn't mean that you have to part in a fight. Bringing up bad things in the past instead of saying goodbye won't help anything. Getting closure for yourself also means giving closure. So make peace and say things in a decent way to each other and part. That's how closure happens.
What Not to Do
There are some things that you should not do when you're having a conversation to get closure. Even when you're sharing your feelings, try to avoid accusing them of horrible things. The relationship is already over. Accusations won't change anything. Don't hog the conversation and take over and don't, above all things, start a fight.
Make Accusations
Both of you know everything that happened. You don't have to rehash the bad things. Part of you will want to tell them off for what you feel they did wrong. Throwing things up in their face that happened isn't going to give either of you closure. Someone who did horrible things to you and isn't sorry for it will probably deny what happened and might even call you crazy. Pointing out the bad things that happen comes before the break up. Now you're saying goodbye, so don't dredge up the past. Learn how each of the Zodiac Signs break up and make up here: Breakups with Each of the Signs
Hog the Conversation
Remember, when you're getting closure, you're both getting it. Don't go in there expecting to do all the talking and have them to do all the listening. They get to talk too. Even if you feel like the whole falling out was their fault, if you get to talk, they get to talk too. Be civil and say what you have to say. Then you get to listen to them.
Pick a Fight
Some relationships are fraught with fights. The day you seek closure isn’t a time to revive that if your relationship was that way. Closure is getting satisfactory endings to things. Starting a fight or participating in one if they try to start it isn't going to help either of you. It's just going to drag things out and hurt more. If they test your patience, you don’t have to lose your temper. Learn the fine art of being patient here: Learning the Fine Art of Patience
Getting Your Own Closure
Sometimes, it’s just not possible to get closure with other people’s participation. This can hurt for a very long time. Even though it's easiest to get closure with the other person’s participation, it's not impossible to get closure without their help. A simple way to get your own closure is to accept things for the way that they are and then write down your feelings in your own personal journal. Use spellwork if you need to release hurt feelings and get emotional support from other people. Learn from what happened and grow from it. These all give closure.
Accept Things
The first step to getting closure on your own is accepting everything that happened and the fact that you can't change any of it. This might be all the closure you need. What happened, happened. They did what they did and they said what they said. There is nothing you can do about it. Even if there were warning signs that bad things were happening and you stayed in a dead-end relationship anyways, it's done, over with, and in the past. Accept it.
Journal About Your Feelings
If you can't express how you feel to the person that you've ended a relationship with, you can express it to yourself. There is just something very satisfying about writing down everything you feel and then releasing it. The way to do this is to just sit down and write out everything that's on your mind. Don't hold anything back. Journal for as long as you need to. You might sit down and write it all out in 30 minutes, and you might write it down over a matter of days or weeks. Then go back and read it to see exactly how you feel. Journaling helps some people feel emotionally balanced. Learn the importance of maintaining balance in life and how to do it: How to Maintain Stability in Your Life
Use Magic
You might decide to use spellwork to help you with closure. One great spell to use is a personal separation spell. The easiest way to do that is with photographs of you and the person who is no longer in your life. Simply cut them out of every photograph with you and throw away their picture. Get rid of every gift they ever gave you, and remove every belonging that is somehow connected to them. You will be surprised how much of a person’s energy possessions hold, so get rid of them. You will feel better once their energy is gone.
Get Support
Sometimes you need some emotional support from people who are still in your life when other people are gone. Reach out to friends and family and talk to them about it. It’s not so much to complain about the person who is gone, but to get a reminder that you're not alone and are still loved. You can also get perspective from people who are familiar with the situation. You might also be surprised to find out that some of the people who love you were never especially comfortable with the relationship that you had with someone, and they might be glad that they are gone. You may have had a backstabber, or “pet rattlesnake” in your life. Read here to find out if you did: Keeping Backstabbers Close- “Pet Rattlesnakes”
Learn From It
Some people say we are brought into each other’s lives for the purpose of learning lessons. One thing to include in your journal is everything you learned from this relationship. What did you learn about yourself, your love language, and what kind of mistakes did you make? Discovering what you've actually learned and growing from the separation can give you all the closure you need.
What if They’re Not Sorry?
Some people believe it is their job to change the people who hurt them. They think they can say just the right things to convince them that their actions were wrong. They think that once they convince them of this that they will be terribly sorry. They will realize all they lost, and they will hurt the same way they hurt the very person they hurt. There are people who say they can never get closure until this happens. If this is what you believe, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Some people will never be sorry for anything they've done in their whole life. Some people shift the responsibility for their actions onto everybody else. That is something within them that is broken, and they will themselves to stay that way. People like that damage relationships regularly. It is not your responsibility to fix them. It is also not in your power to fix them. Maybe someday they will realize they are wrong and be sorry. If you sit around waiting for that, you will never move forward with your life, so don't do that to yourself. Get closure, even if they're not sorry and even if they won't change.
A lot of people think they need the help of other people they have ended a relationship with to get closure. That’s not always possible. You can get your own closure. If you can get them to agree to a conversation for closure, you should say how you feel about things, but make sure to listen to them too. If you can't get closure with someone, you can always get it on your own. Accept things for the way they are, use magic, and learn from whatever happened. You can always get closure, even if you have to get it on your own.
Would you like psychic support while you’re getting closure? Get a reading started and we will help you today!
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag and Green Egg Magazine.
