Bullies are everywhere, but you don’t have to let them mistreat you. Find out how to use your voice to take up for yourself and be treated properly.
When people talk about bullies, images come to mind of mean kids in locker rooms, hallways between classes, and schoolyards. Bullies are everywhere- not just the schoolyard. They are in communities, workplaces, and even families. If you let them, they will push you around and antagonize you for your whole life- but you don’t have to stand for it. Join SpiritualBlossom to learn how to stand up for yourself and take bullies to task. Find out what bullies are, why people become bullies and why we tolerate them. Find out why they should be stopped and how to do it. Bullies might seem scary, but nobody is more afraid than a bully who is called out and taken to task. Read on to find out how to stand up for yourself and take the power away from bullies.
What’s a Bully?
A bully is someone who uses threatening, manipulative behavior to get something that they want. They typically seek to coerce, intimidate, or harm people who they think are vulnerable to them. They are typically known for going out of their way to be unkind or threatening to people who they feel that they're stronger than. They feel that they have some type of superior strength or advantage that they use unfairly on people who they get things from. They tend to be very aggressive and don't want to take no for an answer. They also tend to target the same people or the same type of people every time.
In groups of children, bullies are known for being violent, but brute physical strength isn't the only way that bullies assert their power. Verbally, they can bother you by name calling, threats, or spreading rumors about you. They can also bully you by manipulating your relationships, humiliating you, or excluding you from your group or social gatherings. In modern times, bullies will use the Internet or cell phones to post embarrassing content on social media or even spread lies. Some bullies will even stalk and harass you and won't leave you alone. One Zodiac sign it would be unwise to bully is a Scorpio, and you can read all about Scorpios here: Scorpio Traits and Love Compatibility
Why Are People Bullies?
People are bullies for one reason only. That is because it benefits them. Some bullies do it to control other people. Other bullies do it to have power. Some bullies do it for an ego boost. Some bullies do it to take resources for themselves. The only reason they do it is because they can and because they get by with it.
If bullies don't get what they want, they will stop their bullying behavior. If a bully demands that you give up vacation time for them and you say no, they will have to go away and leave you alone when they don't get what they want. If you ignore them when they're trying to get attention, they'll stop bothering you. If you don't give them any power over you or act afraid, they'll stop their bullying behavior. Somewhere along the line, they have learned that the behavior that they use gets things for them that they want, and as long as you continue to give it to them, they're going to be bullies. Besides bullying, another manipulation tactic is breadcrumbing and you can read all about it here: What is Breadcrumbing? Know the Signs
Why We Tolerate Bullies
We tolerate bullies because we are afraid of what will happen if we don’t. We keep the peace in our families by pacifying bullying family members. If we stand up to them, they misbehave more, cause more scenes, and disrupt the family even more. If your family does not understand that enabling this manipulative behavior is toxic, you will have a huge fight on your hands with multiple family members when you stand up to the family bully. They may tell you to stop being disruptive, and allow things to be controlled by the family bully so things stay quiet.
Bullies maintain their control by threatening people with consequences if they are not appeased. If you don’t give the school bully your lunch money, they threaten to beat you up. If your bullying co-worker does not get to be the center of attention, they threaten to spread rumors about you. If the bully who wants voted onto your neighborhood council does not get you to vote for them, they threaten to reveal that dirty secret they have about you. If you try to leave your violent bullying partner, they threaten more violence. It’s difficult living with a bully, but they go out of their way to let everyone know how much more difficult they can make everyone’s lives if they are not appeased. That is why people tolerate them. If you are in a relationship with a bully it is a toxic relationship. Find out what to do about that here: Why Relationships That Are Toxic Happen
Why Bullies Should be Stopped
There are multiple reasons why bullies should be stopped, and it really depends on the situation. However, all bullies share one thing in common. They are all self-serving people who take from other people. They take things unfairly that don't belong to them and they shouldn't be allowed to do that. The school yard bully who takes other kid’s lunch money does not deserve other people's money. The neighbor who wants to be on the community council does not deserve votes through threats. Anybody who threatens to hurt you if you don't give them what they want does not deserve what they want you to give them.
They also shouldn't have the power to hurt people. They also shouldn't use what they consider power to harm other people. Power should be used for protection and to help people. If somebody has strength, they should not be given an unfair advantage based on it. They should use that strength to make the world a better place. It's fair to say that bullies have not evolved very much spiritually and are struggling in that way. If you give in to their threats, you are enabling that and helping to keep them stuck. Facing a bully is facing a major fear and you can face all fears. Find out how here: Facing and Overcoming Fears
How to Stand Up to Bullies
Standing up to bullies isn't as difficult as it may seem. First you decide that enough is enough and it's time to take a stand. Then it's very important to show no fear. Tell the bullies no and don't give in to them and then expose their behavior to the right people. Ignore them and go about your business. They are not a part of your life and they're not important at all.
Decide It’s Time
When you decide that you have had enough of a bully's behavior, it's time to stand up to them. When you decide you're tired of the threats, you're tired of giving in, and you're tired of being manipulated, it's time to stand up to them. The truth is, the more you tolerate a bully's behavior, the more they will bully you. Other bullies will see you being bullied, and they will bully you also. It's a never-ending cycle of abuse from people. There is so much more to enjoy in life than getting out of a threat temporarily. The first step to standing up to bullies is deciding that it's time to because you don't want to be bullied anymore.
Don’t Show Fear
The bully’s number one weapon is fear. Even if you're afraid, don't let them know. Especially if your bully has everyone afraid, if you're not afraid of them, guess what? That will scare them. They won't know how to deal with someone who isn't showing fear. They might automatically leave you alone if they think you're not scared of them. Even if they don't, and they threaten you more, still don't show any fear. Fear is the only way they have to control people and if you show no fear, especially if you feel no fear, they will have no power over you. It lets them know that you're serious about refusing their bullying. One Zodiac sign that can teach you how to not show fear is Aries and you can read about them here: Aries Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
Say “No”
Tell your bully you won't give them your lunch money, you won't let them manipulate you into a vote, and as a matter of fact, you won't give them anything they want at all. Instead of giving them things, it's time for your bully to give you something that they're not used to giving other people and that is respect. They will respect your right to say no, and they will respect you enough to keep their threats to themselves. Don't be surprised if they retaliate with more threats. If you don't give them what they want, they don't have any choice but to leave and go find someone else to beg from.
That's right, bullying is just an aggressive form of begging. If you think of a bully as someone who has an inability to do things for themselves and they therefore have to coerce other people to do things for them, you won't be afraid of them. You will think they are sad, weak people. Instead of feeling sorry for them though, hope that they change for the better. It's a very sad and toxic pattern that they have built around their lives and they need to become more self-sufficient. They can do it, but not if people keep giving in to what they want, so help them by saying no. Learn how to say no here: How to Say No: Reclaim Your Power
Expose Them
Another tool that bullies have is secrecy. They hide their nasty behaviors from certain people because they don't want to deal with the consequences of their actions. At work, the people in charge need to be made aware of your coworkers' bullying. If you're a student in school, teachers and parents need to be aware of the schoolyard bully. If you have someone who is trying to manipulate votes for a council, existing council members need to be aware of their behavior. Manipulative bullying tactics are underhanded, dishonest behavior and there needs to be consequences for that. Turn bullies in. Exposing people, even nasty bullies, should be done diplomatically. Learn the fine art of diplomacy here: Mastering the Fine Art of Being Diplomatic
Ignore Them
Once you have let a bully know that they can't control you, and you have turned them in, then, it's time to stop giving them attention. If they call you, don't pick up, and block their phone number. If they show up at the house, don't answer the door. If they approach you in public, walk away from them. If they harass you at work, leave the area where they are. Some bullies only behave in bullying ways because they want attention. Once you've refused to give them what they want, if you refuse to give them attention also, they're going to have to leave and so find someone else to bother. One Zodiac sign that is great at ignoring people when they want to is Virgo, and you can learn more about them here: Virgo Traits and Love Compatibility
Just Do You
Instead of letting bullies control your life, live life on your own terms. Spend your lunch money on your own lunch. Vote for who you want on the council board and as a matter of fact, if you want to, why don't you run for office on the council? Do your job to the best of your ability without allowing a bullying coworker to compromise how you do it. Bullies survive on control of other people. You are the one that is in the driver's seat of your own life, making your own decisions, and one decision you should be making is to give bullies zero control of you. While you are busy doing things for your own life, you can be your best self. Learn how here: How to Be Your Best Self
Defeating Our Biggest Bully
Believe it or not, other people are never our biggest bullies. We are our own biggest bullies. We are also our own biggest critics. We tear ourselves down internally when everyone around us is trying to build us up. We are unfair and unkind to ourselves and are not forgiving of our own flaws. Defeating your bully within is the hardest thing you will ever do.
Never speak unkindly about yourself. If you dislike something about yourself, focus on improvement instead of speaking against yourself. If you have a difficult goal that you can't reach on your own, ask for help and keep trying. Don't see imperfections as character flaws, but see them as normal parts of being human. Give yourself the same love, understanding and caring as you give to other people. Defeating the bully within yourself is the most difficult thing you will ever do, but you can do it if you try. Focus on self-love instead and you can learn how here: Practicing Self Love
Bullies are nasty, manipulative people who rely on fear to have control of other people. They are bullies because they benefit from it and the only reason they get by with it is because people allow them to. The way to defeat a bully is to refuse to let them control you by telling them no, reporting their behavior, and then going about your life as if they don’t exist. Just ignore them. Bullies only have power if we give it to them, so don’t. The only person who deserves to have power over your own life is you!
Would you like advice on overcoming an especially manipulative person? Reach out to one of our psychics any time any day for answers!
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag and Green Egg Magazine.
