Facing Your Fears
June 28, 2024 14 min read

Facing Your Fears

By Lady Saoirse

Fear does not have to control our lives, however, no matter how bad of a fear we have, there are ways to face and overcome our fears.Find out what fear is, different kinds of fears, and how to overcome them. 

What scares you, and why does it scare you? Those are questions we ask ourselves, and sometimes, we don’t wait for the answers because we are too afraid to think about it. There are times when a fear grips you so badly that you are completely frozen by that fear and it assumes complete control of your life. Thankfully, there are ways to overcome fears so they don’t have to dominate us, and the ways to do that are easier than you might think. Even though fear is an awful thing, some fears are good, believe it or not, and understanding what it is about fear that controls us can help you to break the chains fear traps you with. Read on to learn about some of the most common kinds of fears, and how you can beat them with positive thinking and conscious living.

What is Fear?

“ Fear can keep you up all night but faith makes one fine pillow.” – overallmotivation.com

Merriam-Webster online simply defines fear as “ An unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” Fear can result in a response of running from this perceived danger, and a fear may or may not be rational. Our bodies can have a natural reaction to fear which includes elevated heart rate and breathing rate, increased muscle tension, goosebumps, which make tiny hairs stand on end, making us look larger, and even increased alertness. All of these things are designed to help us either fight the perceived danger, or quickly flee from it. Fear can be a good thing as long as we don’t stay in a state of fear long term, and science explains why fear can be a good thing.

Good Fears

Psychology Today writes, “ If people didn’t feel fear, they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves from legitimate threats. Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger that has been pivotal throughout human evolution, but especially in ancient times when men and women regularly faced life-or-death situations.” Hundreds of years ago, before antibiotics, vaccines, and running water that was cleaned and maintained by governments, life was a lot more perilous, and human beings have evolved over time to have a natural fear mechanism inside of us designed to help us survive. If we did not have the natural fear response, we could be hurt or killed very easily, and fear helps us avoid that harm. In that way, fear can be a very good thing. You can read the Psychology Today article here: Fear | Psychology Today

Bad Fears

Bad Fears

On the other hand, some fears go beyond survival instincts and are irrational. Those fears are called phobias. A phobia is considered a clinical problem and an anxiety disorder that is excessive fear or something or some situation and Johns Hopkins Medical said that about 19 million Americans have some phobia. Phobias are classed into three divisions, including agoraphobia, social phobia, and phobia of specific things. Agoraphobia is the fear of being stuck in an unsafe environment that you cannot escape, and social phobia which is also known as social anxiety disorder, is fear in social situations. Specific phobias include arachnophobia, or fear of spiders, amaxophobia, fear of riding in vehicles, and hypochondria, or fear of sickness. To read the article, see here: Phobia facts and statistics 2023 | SingleCare

While there is some justification in things like the fear of spiders, most especially venomous ones, if seeing a photo of a spider, or a television program about them drives you into panic, that’s a phobia showing itself. If you see a bus coming right towards you, and a quick flash of fear makes you jump away, that is your survival instinct telling you that the bus will hit you if you don’t move out of the way. Our fears are supposed to help us to stay safe, not trap us into irrational behaviors where we run from things and situations that are not actually threatening us. Our fears can act as negative entities that dictate our behavior even if we try to be positive. Other than causing us to remove ourselves from actual danger, how can fears control us?

How Does Fear Control Us?

How Does Fear Control Us?

“ Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fear can cause us to completely become unable to do anything. For example, social anxiety can keep people from making friends and make them live lonely lives. It can also make people prefer to isolate themselves and make them hate being in situations at work like large meetings. This can put a strain on our workplace relations and even make us lose a job. It can keep people from moving forward with goals because they fear failure too much to try and fears can make you assume that a lover is not interested despite signs he has strong feelings for you. Fear controls us by telling us the worst of things will happen unless we pull back, and that can make us miss out on the best things in life.

Not all fears develop from nothing. A lot of times, we become afraid after suffering something or witnessing a disaster. We are afraid of venomous creatures because we don’t want to get sick or die if they bite us, so we avoid them. However, if you are so afraid of snakes, you won’t let your kids go to the park out of fear a snake might bite them, fear is ruling your life. If you were almost hit by a car when you were crossing the street, you might be too afraid to walk across the street for a while, and you might try to avoid it completely. This will take away your ability to enjoy walking places, though. If your fear is not keeping you safe, but is instead limiting your life experiences, it has complete control of you.

Besides that, fears can impact our health in negative ways when they become chronic issues. Being in a state of fear regularly exhausts your body and mind so much that you can become chronically tired, burned out, depressed, and constantly anxious. Your immune system can become weakened, making you more susceptible to disease, and less able to fight it off. You can come down with illnesses brought on by chronic stress that can include memory issues, sleep disorders, heart disease, digestive issues or obesity, and even skin problems. Our fear response is designed to help us escape dangerous situations, and if we are in a constant state of fear of being in danger, the body and mind will react. Besides what fear can do to us, what are some kinds of fears that are common, and how can we combat those? Aries acts fearless and you can read about them here: Aries Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility (spiritualblossom.com)

Fear of Love

“ In a choice between love and fear, choose love.” – Marianne Williamson

What is the fear of love called? There is literally a term for the fear of love, believe it or not, and it is philophobia, which is pretty uncommon. Another common phobia related to love is gamophobia, which is the fear of commitment. There seems to be a name for every kind of phobia related to love, but it seems to come down to being afraid of not being loved, or fear of being hurt in love.

Does He Love Me?

Do you know what to do if you’re in love and you don’t know if he loves you too? You can always ask him how he feels, but sometimes there are signs that somebody loves you. There are times there are no signs of love though, and you might be saying “I want him to love me” but he doesn’t. Signs of love are easy to see. Does he make you a priority or does he make excuses for not having time for you? Does he listen to you and is he considerate of your feelings or does he disregard what represents love to you? Is he making plans for your future together or is he telling you to keep your distance because he wants his independence. When people don’t want to connect with us, it is a sign they are not in love with us. When people make us a part of their lives and treat us well, those are signs of love.

 If “I want him more than he wants me” is what you are saying, then it is quite possible these are not signs he is fighting his feelings for you, and he is afraid of being hurt. Signs he is afraid of his feelings for you include that he is afraid of his emotions in general and that he cries and begs you not to break his heart. It is quite possible he was heartbroken in a past relationship and radiating positivity is something you think can heal his heart. A new relationship cannot make the hurt from a past one disappear, though, and while patience is a good quality in a person, if somebody is too scared of being in love to be in a relationship, you might not be able to change that. If you are the one afraid, you can fight that fear. The way to do that is to go ahead and give new love a chance. There is a possibility that things will not work out, but there is also the possibility things will work out. You won’t know until you try! Read about love here: What is the Spiritual Meaning of Love? (spiritualblossom.com)

 Will She Hurt Me?

“Why do I push him away when I want to be with him?” That is a good question. Is he giving you reasons to worry that he might hurt you, or are you just afraid of the possibility of somebody hurting you in general? What people do for love is to examine their feelings when fear sets in, and ask themselves real questions about why they are afraid. If the person you love has you worried because of things they are doing, you do not have a fear of love, but you have a very genuine concern about what they will do. Sometimes what symbolizes love is being smart and loving yourself before other people. If you can tell somebody is about to hurt you, combat this by listening to yourself, and spend time with people who won’t hurt you instead. This is one way to create your own reality and choose healthy love.

A Commitment Phobic Man’s Patterns

Fear of commitment can keep people from having meaningful relationships. These commitment phobic behaviors can make someone jump from relationship to relationship and they don’t just wreck relationships. It can destroy friendships and careers as well. People who are afraid to commit can job hop and move homes or cities often. This can be caused by a desire to feel completely free, or craving the thrill of having new, exciting experiences constantly. If your significant other says they will never get married, or settle down, chances are they are afraid of commitment. They might become anxious, feeling trapped when they are around committed couples, and they might push people away abruptly or break off relationships for small, insignificant reasons. You are never under any obligation to commit to people who will not commit to a relationship with you, and chances are you cannot change people who are afraid of commitment.

Signs She’s Jealous of You

Jealousy is another fear based relationship issue, but don’t mistake jealousy for protectiveness. Signs he is protective of you are that he reminds you to lock the doors if that is something you regularly forget to do, or he offers to pick up your vitamins while he is at the store. Signs she’s jealous of you include that she is angry your best friend’s wife is pretty and she does not want you to spend time with your family. Jealousy is insecurity and fear of losing a relationship for irrational reasons and manipulation is often used by a jealous person to try and control their partner. Jealous people often feel inferior and become angry at the thought of betrayal that has not even happened and they may already be grieving a loss they have not suffered, expecting it at any moment. Jealousy is toxic and can completely destroy relationships. If you feel your partner’s jealousy is trapping you, refuse to allow them to control you. Scorpios can get jealous and you can read about them here: Scorpio Traits and Love Compatibility (spiritualblossom.com)

Fear of Loss

“ Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert T. Kiyosaki

We are all terrified of losing the things and the people who mean something to us, and we all try to protect those things. The fear of being alone can develop into a phobia called autophobia that is also known as monophobia. The fear of being alone is one thing, but the fear of losing your loved ones is heartbreaking. Some people’s fear of being alone makes them jealous, but other people fear being alone because they were left alone as children, and the thought of going through that isolation again is unbearable for some people. Autophobia causes people to fear being left on their own to handle things they find too challenging and some people with this phobia can have a difficult time being by themselves at all, even at home. Some people combat this by having companion animals or roommates and always having their phones available to call people to talk to. Being friendly with neighbors and inviting people over to visit are also ways to help relieve this phobia.

Thanatophobia is the fear of death and some people fear dying itself, but others fear the process of dying. Some people who have this phobia become extremely terrified at the mention of death, or seeing anything at all associated with death. The thought of losing their lives is unbearable for some people, and they cannot even think about it. Disposophobia is also called “hoarding disorder” and it is the phobia of parting with belongings. Some people cannot bear to let go of even their trash or things like worn out clothing, old receipts, and even broken objects they will never use again. The thought of letting go of one thing they own can send these people into severe anxiety symptoms and they will fight people who try to get them to get rid of things.

If losing someone scares you but you don’t have a true phobia, one way to combat this is to plan ahead. Maintain healthy relationships with people who you trust to care about you, and don’t commit to new relationships with people who you feel demonstrate they cannot be trusted to stick around. If you worry about losing your job, keep your resume updated, and watch the job postings to see what is available. Learn new skills and network with others in your career field. If you fear losing possessions, take out insurance policies to help replace them if something happens to them. We can’t always prevent every loss, but we can try to be ready if loss does happen.

Fear of the Unknown

“ By replacing fear of the unknown with curiosity, we open ourselves up to an infinite stream of possibility .” – Alan Watts

“I want to know my future because I am worried about what might happen!” Don’t we all? It is normal to want to know what will come to pass so you can be ready for any challenges that may arise. How to know the future is a couple of different ways. First, you can consult a psychic, and secondly, you can work and plan carefully in advance for how you want things to be. Don’t be too surprised when things go differently than you expected, though, because sometimes, things have a way of making a better future for us than we had planned for ourselves.

Xenophobia is the name for the fear of the unknown. The word is often used to express fear of people who are different than you are, but the word describes all fear of the unknown, not just unknown people. Imagining the worst things that can happen is a symptom of xenophobia, and while it is fair to say we all do this sometimes, doing it all the time is a sign of having the phobia. Being out of control of your life and surroundings can be terrifying, and one way to combat this fear is to research what you are walking into so you feel more well prepared. Then relax, and breathe with the knowledge you have done all you can, and have a little faith. Sometimes things go badly, but things don’t always go badly. You might be pleasantly surprised because the future works out to be better than you had ever dreamed it could. If things don’t go as well as you had hoped, have faith in your ability to get through tough times, and have faith that things will get better. Read about a mysterious creature, the black cat, here: The Magic and Superstitions of Black Cats (spiritualblossom.com)

When Is It Time to Give Up?

“ Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. Being brave means you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyways.” – Neil Gaiman

Everybody is afraid at some point. Fear is normal, and sometimes it saves us from harm. Don’t think that you are a coward or are not brave if you experience fear. Brave people experience fear all the time, they are just the ones who have the courage to face those fears and overcome them. Overcoming fears does not mean they will completely go away. It just means you don’t let them control you. Sometimes, you have to give up fighting fears and just face them, and that time comes when you decide that you are not going to let your fears control you.

The first step is telling yourself that you are stronger than your fears, and believing that you can overcome the fears. If you know people who have overcome their fears, talk to them and ask them how they beat their fears. If you need the support of friends, ask them to be with you while you face your fears. Chances are, if this is the first time you have tried to face your fears, you might not completely succeed at what you want to, but you will make progress. If you have to take baby steps to tackle your fears, that’s okay. All of the progress you make is more progress than you made before and you won’t know what you are capable of until you try. Not everybody overcomes fears in one try, though, and there are specialists who work with phobias and helping people to face them. For information for finding a doctor to help you overcome phobias, see here:13 Best Online Therapy Services of 2023 (verywellmind.com)

 Before you get started, go look at yourself in the mirror and say “I want to conquer my fear. I don’t know how successful I will be with each try, but I do know one thing: I am going to do the best I can, and my best is good enough.” Then be patient with yourself. You might have to stop and try again another time, but you tried and that is all that counts. Not all fears are conquered on the first try, but some fears are.

Never forget that you are a human being, and you are more powerful than any struggles or fears you have. Your triumphs over fears will be an inspiration to other people, and one day, you might help somebody else overcome a fear you overcame a long time ago. It won’t happen until you try though, so get out there and face those fears! You’ve got this! We’ve got your back when you need help, just reach out for a reading for support: Online Psychic Readings | Spiritual Blossom

About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Spiritual Blossom, has written for Mysticsense, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag and Green Egg Magazine.