Rejection hurts, but it happens to the best of us. Find out why we get rejected sometimes, how to accept it gracefully, and how to get over it and move on.
Rejection. The very word sounds terrifying, but nothing stings like rejection itself. We can be rejected in our career, in relationships, and by society in general- but we don’t have to stand for it, or do we? Actually, we do, and sometimes, rejection is a good thing even if it does hurt. Join SpiritualBlossom to find out all about rejection. Find out why we get rejected, and signs it’s happening. Find out how to emotionally get over it, but learn something more important- what to do after it happens. Rejection happens to everyone, but not everyone handles it well. Read on to find out how to.
What is Rejection?
Rejection means you've not been accepted, considered, or you've been pushed away. It can leave you failing unwanted, unsatisfactory, or just not fulfilling some sort of requirement. You can be rejected in different ways. You can be rejected from relationships, career opportunities, and society in general.
Relationship Rejection
You can be rejected from any relationship. Friendships, family relationships, or romantic ones can be relationships where you get rejected. You can even be in a so-called relationship with anyone, and they can reject you. If your significant other withholds sex, they are sexually rejecting you. If your friend’s group stops inviting you places, they are rejecting you. If your family starts to talk about you behind your back, and decides not to include you in family gatherings, they're rejecting you. People might have you around, but refuse to accept certain things about you, and that's rejection. Is your family worth all that trouble? Find out here: Are Relationships with Your Relatives Worth It?
Career Rejection
Career rejection can happen two different ways. You're either refused when you want to be hired somewhere, or you're not accepted at the job that you already have. In the case of being rejected from jobs where you've applied, the only thing you can do is keep applying for jobs. However, when you have a job already and you are rejected by your team, that's a lot more difficult. They will keep you out of the loop from making important decisions, won't invite you to employee gatherings, and they might even start doing things to hurt your feelings, hoping that you will quit.
Societal Rejection
Societal rejection is a deeper problem, however. Some people just naturally fit in with everyone around them, and other people have to work a little bit, but they manage to. Other people find themselves stuck in situations where they feel like they don't belong at all. Maybe your family culture is very conservative, and you're more progressive. Your entire home town might be more like your family, and you can't wait to get out on your own so you can move to another city. Being different and rejected for it doesn’t make you wrong- just deviant. Learn about deviance here: Social Deviance- Daring to be Different
Why People Reject Us
Some people take pleasure in rejecting other people, because they know it hurts. Other people don't do it to hurt anyone. Sometimes people reject us because we're so different from them, they don't know how to relate to us. Other times, we're rejected because what we offer doesn't align with what other people want or need. Some people reject us because they misunderstand. Once they get to know you, they might accept you. Sometimes we're rejected because we are in the wrong situation, and the universe is pushing us out of there so that we can move to where we belong.
It just seems to be human nature to surround ourselves with people who we feel are most like us. If you feel like you belong with a social group, an individual, or any sort of situation like a job, if other people don't feel like you do, they will reject you because they don't want you there. It's not necessarily anything personal, although it feels very personal. Each of us have rejected people. If someone asks you out and you feel like they're creepy, you're going to say no. Rejection can break your heart but that’s not the only thing that could. Find signs you’re headed for heartbreak here: Signs You’re About to be Broken Hearted
Do We Reject Ourselves?
At some point in time, you're bound to be rejected by someone. That's unavoidable. The biggest issue is when we reject ourselves, though. One of the biggest reasons why we reject ourselves is that we compare ourselves to others far too much. We see someone who we like or admire, and we don't understand why we're not like them. We may dislike how we change with time or feel like we are not making enough progress towards goals. Instead of working on self-care so we can grow as people, we can suffer low self-esteem, and engage in self-loathing.
This can create a nasty cycle. Say you gained 20 pounds and you want that weight off. You can focus on eating healthy and exercising to get that weight off. This focuses on self-love, progress, and long-term health. If you decide to starve yourself, get upset with yourself every time you look in the mirror and find ways to talk down about your body, it’s a form of self-sabotage, and a sign you are rejecting yourself. Read more about self-sabotage and how you can stop doing it here: How to Stop Self Destruction
Signs You’ve Been Rejected
Rejection isn’t always a harsh word, or having a door slammed in your face. Sometimes, it’s more subtle. Being avoided signals rejection. If someone always makes you call them or they never call back, they are rejecting you. If you are not included, but everyone else is, you have been rejected. If someone does not make future plans with you, they have rejected you.
They Avoid You
Sometimes it's hard to tell if someone's avoiding you, especially if they're busy people. If they seem to have plenty of time for everyone else but none for you, they're avoiding you. If they get up and walk away very quickly when you know they saw you, that's a sure sign they're avoiding you. If you always got together before, and they suddenly don't seem like they have time to, they're probably avoiding you. When someone avoids you, they're rejecting you, they just don't want to come right out and say it.
You Always Initiate Contact
Relationships are all about reciprocity. If you are the one who always has to call or reach out to make plans, you might just be dealing with a lazy person, but they're not reciprocating. They are rejecting their responsibility to hold up their half of the relationship. Some people will get together with you if you call them first, but if they never get together with you, no matter how many times you make an invitation or contact them, they're rejecting you. It’s disappointing when someone never reaches out but you can get over disappointment. Find out how here: Facing Disappointment-Coping with Life’s Letdowns
They Don’t Call Back
Making a call, sending a text, or letting someone know that you drop by should be responded to fairly quickly. If they don't do that, ever, they're rejecting you and they don't want to come right out and say it. Following up to ask them if they got your message may be responded to with an excuse about how busy they were or that they meant to respond, but didn’t get around to it yet. Don’t doubt the fact that if someone wants to spend time with you, they will. Nobody has time- we all have to make time. If they don’t make time for you, they are rejecting you.
You’re Not Included
If your friend's group gets together and goes on a day trip, but you're not invited, there's a reason for that. You're being rejected. Maybe you get invited to some things, but not everything. If everyone else is, there's a reason. Someone has decided that you don't belong. Maybe certain members of the friends group like to get together with you, but the whole friends group doesn't. You've been rejected from that group itself when this happens. Fake friends reject you. Find out about your worst friends- or frenemies here: How a Frenemy is Your Worst Friend
They Don’t Make Plans
A sure sign that someone is rejecting you is when they don't make plans with you. When you ask them when they're going to get together, and they say “We'll do that soon”, but they never make time, they've rejected you. If every time you ask when you're going to do what you said you were together, they say another time, they don't want to get together with you. Again, everyone is busy. Everybody also prioritizes what's important to them. If they're not prioritizing you, they've rejected you.
Getting Over Being Rejected
Everybody gets rejected at some point. That doesn't make you unattractive, a loser, or pathetic. It makes you just as human as the rest of us. It hurts to be rejected, but at some point you're going to have to move past it. Accepting the rejection and acknowledging it is the first step. Then, know where you belong, or find out where that is. Then, embrace acceptance where it actually is instead of fighting to be accepted by people who reject you.
Accept It
Once you realize that you have been rejected, don't fight it. Everybody has the right to refuse friendship with anybody who they want to. There are people who you don't want to be friends with, so there's going to be people who don't want to be involved with you. Maybe you really wanted a job, but the work site did not want to hire you, so they rejected you. You can always follow up and ask someone for a second chance, but not everybody is willing to give that chance. Once you realize that the answer is no, just accept it. Accepting things for how they are opens the door for powerful magic. Find out how to make magic happen every day here: Using Practical Magic in Everyday Life
Know Your Place
There are places where we all belong. We fit in effortlessly there. We don't have to work too hard, beg for acceptance, or push our way in. It's easy to tell where you're welcomed. People invite you regularly, and they want to get together with you, no matter what. People will drop in just to say hello, or send messages to you throughout the day or the week. You won't be an afterthought. You will be the priority. People who accept you will never make you question their loyalty and love for you. If you don’t belong where you were rejected, it’s ok, because there is a wonderful place where you do belong. Learn how to find out where here: Connecting to Where You Belong
Embrace Acceptance Elsewhere
No matter how much you want it to be with someone who rejected you, you can't. No matter how much you wanted to be someplace where you weren't welcomed, you can't. If someone doesn't love you, want you around, or accept you, you can't force it. Somewhere else will. Know that you are beautiful, lovable, desirable, and worthy of being accepted. Know, also, that you aren’t everyone’s type and that is okay. Not everyone is your type either. Open yourself to finding out who accepts and loves you, and leave people who rejected you behind.
You have already spent time trying to fit in with someone who rejected you before. The time you devote to them belongs with people who will accept you. You may feel that your interest has been wasted on someone who did not accept you, but you can’t change the past. Apply all that energy and enthusiasm toward people who accept you instead.
What Now?
Every “no” brings you closer to a “yes”. If every “no” from rejection brings you closer to a “yes”, then anytime you are rejected, there is one thing to do. Move forward, looking for that “yes”. Sometimes we are rejected because we have made the mistake of trying to be where we don’t belong. Our job, while we are getting over rejection, is to seek out where we do belong. It hurts to be rejected, especially if we really liked someone who rejected us or really wanted to be somewhere that we were not welcome. What hurts worse is chasing people and situations that are not ours.
Focus on the people who do love you. Focus on going to the places where you are wanted and where you are welcome. If you’re invited somewhere, you are accepted. If you ask to go and you’re told no, you have been rejected. Don’t go there. Your people cannot get enough of you, no matter how often you are there. Spend the time you would have been with those who rejected you with those who accept you instead. This is the best way forward from rejection.
We all have to take no for an answer sometimes. Whether it's a relationship or a situation that we really wanted to be involved in, at some point in life you're going to be rejected from it. Each of us meets countless new people almost on a daily basis and it's not possible to form a meaningful, long lasting relationship with all of them and sometimes you are rejected. Signs that you've been rejected are that people make you call them first every time, or they don't return your calls at all. Accepting the fact that you're rejected, knowing where you belong, and embracing acceptance where it's offered are three easy ways to move past being rejected. Once you move past that, go forward. Love from someone who can't imagine their life without you is waiting for you and that’s where you belong!
Would you like some insight because you're not sure if someone is rejecting you? Reach out to a psychic for answers today.
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag and Green Egg Magazine.
