Some of the biggest red flags in a relationship can spell disaster for your life, but you don’t have to let them. Find out how to spot some of the most common dating red flags and how to keep them from ruling your life and relationships.
It seems like most things that we experience in life are affected by our relationships. Some relationships are good, and some relationships are bad, but it's new relationships that can have something pop up we call red flags. Red flags are talked about a lot, but not everybody understands what they are. They are ugly things that can destroy a relationship, and if you're lucky they will show up early. Join SpiritualBlossom to learn about red flags. Find out what they are, how you can spot them, ten of the biggest red flags, and what to do about red flags in new relationships. Read all the way to the end to find out how to get advice about combatting red flags.
What Are Red Flags?
Red flags typically indicate danger. Red flags can be flown to indicate that a shooting range is in use, so you shouldn't step into the line of fire. They can indicate a risk of wildfires, or dangerous beach conditions. In relationships, red flags are just as dangerous. They are things that can damage or end the relationship. They are also things that can wreck people's lives if they stay in a relationship with people who show these red flags. Some people think of a red flag as an indication to get out of a relationship and other people think of red flags as things that need to be worked on.
A red flag is basically something that draws awareness to something that requires attention or that you should stay away from. Some people take a red flag as proof that there needs to be some questioning about something that's going on in the relationship. Red flags indicate that there are problems, or else there will be problems if certain things continue. Early on in relationships, when we especially like people, we might deliberately ignore red flags. We might decide that somebody's worst habits are worth dealing with, but down the road these habits can be deal breakers. They can even make us feel like we have fallen out of love. Read on to learn about falling out of love here: What to Do When You Fell Out of Love
How Can You Spot Red Flags?
There are no perfect relationships because there are no perfect people but red flags are a special kind of beast. There are three simple ways to spot a relationship red flag. Red flags cause problems, and while some problems can be solved, you might decide it's not worth it. Red flags can be emotionally or physically hurtful and they can even be frightening.
It Hurts
If something hurts your feelings, especially if somebody tells you, “It’s your choice to react by being hurt,” it’s a red flag. Sure, some people are more sensitive than other people, but that doesn't mean that sensitive people are wrong. If something genuinely hurts you, and the person doing what hurts you doesn't care, that's a serious red flag. Do you really want to be involved with someone who deliberately does things to hurt you and is more interested in doing what they want than how it makes you feel? That doesn't sound like love. Sticking around for that won’t manifest love, but other things will. Read on to find out how to manifest love: How to Manifest Love
It’s Scary
Certain things some people do are scary. Yelling, throwing things around, deliberately breaking things, Oo stealing in relationships are obviously frightening. Some things aren't so obvious. Recklessly spending money, an inability to maintain relationships or jobs, and neglecting children or pets in their care are some other scary things that people can do. When somebody does things that are frightening it says a lot about what kind of a person they are and what life with them would be like. When somebody's words and deeds scare you, listen to yourself. You don’t have to be in relationships with frightening people.
It Causes Problems
Red flags cause problems. They might not be causing problems for you right now, but if you stay in a relationship long-term with somebody, the problems that they create for themselves with red flag behaviors are going to become your problems. Habits we have like stubbornly refusing to take lifesaving medications, refusing to get enough sleep at night, and constantly having arguments with people might seem like self-destructive habits, and they are. However, they also cause problems for the people that we’re involved with. If someone's red flags are causing problems for you early on in the relationship, it's probably not going to get better. Can you love yourself enough to admit that? Read about cultivating self-love here: Practicing Self Love
Ten of the Biggest Red Flags
There are countless red flags you can learn about, and they can't all be listed in one place. Each person is different. What functions as a red flag for one person wouldn't bother somebody else. Some of the biggest red flags bother pretty much everybody though. When someone is selfish, insulting, strings you along, or behaves as if they've been deeply in love with you for many years immediately when you meet them, those are red flags. Secrets, refusing to communicate, being jealous, violent, dishonest, or using relationships to get money are some other big red flags.
Selfishness
When someone is selfish with you, that means they care more about themselves than they do you. It is true that it is healthy to care about yourself, but when you are so self-centered that all you think about is yourself, or you think about other people last, you don't bring much to the table for a relationship. If someone is selfish with you early on in a relationship, they're doing you a favor by letting you know what things are going to be like. They want you and the relationship only to serve themselves, and they don't care about you. Instead of being selfish, be your best self. Learn how here: How to Be Your Best Self
Insults
Some people are detail oriented and can be highly critical individuals. An inability to keep unkind opinions to themselves is a serious red flag, though. Everybody sees things that they don't like, and meet people who they don't like, but they don't have to tell the world that. If somebody puts your friends down, and points out negative things about you constantly, they're not focused on having a relationship with you. They are focused on belittling you to make themselves feel better. That's a serious red flag. Sagittarians can make cutting remarks when they feel like it. Learn about that Zodiac Sign here: Sagittarius Traits and Love Compatibility
Breadcrumbing
If you've spent time with somebody who sometimes lavishes attention on you, and then completely ignores you for a while, that's a red flag. Sometimes they won't necessarily lavish attention on you, but they'll give you a short phone call just to keep you interested even though they don't have any intentions of committing to a relationship with you. People do that for different reasons, one of which being they want to keep you on call for them in case they want something from you, and quite often they just want sex but they don't care about your feelings. Some people call breadcrumbing, or leading you on, and it's a manipulative behavior. Virgos rarely lead people on and you can read about that Zodiac Sign here: Virgo Traits and Love Compatibility
Love Bombing
Love bombing means you've practically just met somebody and they immediately start giving you indications that they think they are madly in love with you. They may want an immediate commitment, even to get married almost instantly. They will buy you expensive gifts, talk about a future together, or start telling you they love you right away. This can be a sign of some kind of an emotional or psychiatric disorder, but maybe not. Time will tell whether they're really serious about you or not. Love bombing can be too much too soon and that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, though. Read all about what to do if you are not comfortable here; What Should I Do if I Am Uncomfortable?
Secrecy
When you first meet somebody, you won't necessarily know everything about them immediately. However, if they want to keep secrets about things that really shouldn't be secret, that's a red flag. If there's nothing wrong, why are they trying to hide so much? They may be involved in another relationship they don't want you to know about, or they may have something going on in their life that they think might scare you off. In relationships that you've had long term, secrets are even more problematic. What are they trying to hide? Read all about keeping secrets here: Is Keeping Secrets Bad?
Stonewalling
Stonewalling is refusing to communicate in a relationship. Some people do this because they don't know how to talk about their feelings and that can be a big problem in relationships. To be fair, not everybody wants to have a long conversation when they're upset, and that's ok. However, some people will give you the silent treatment to manipulate you into giving them exactly what they want, and that is a red flag. You might feel like you don’t belong with people who won’t communicate with you. Find out all about belonging here: Connecting to Where You Belong
Jealousy
Jealousy is not a form of admiration. It's something that's very ugly. Jealousy means that somebody wants something that you have. Jealousy isn't the same thing as envy either, because people who are envious can be inspired by what you have and find a way to get it for themselves. People who are jealous want to take away what you have because they don't want you to enjoy it. At no time in a relationship is jealousy acceptable. Especially early on in a relationship, jealousy of your friends and family is a red flag telling you to get out of the relationship. Narcissists can be very jealous. Find out of you are in love with a narcissist here: Loving a Narcissist
Violence
Violence is the use of physical force to control, harm, or even kill. If someone is violent with you, that is an indication of a very unhealthy person who cannot have healthy relationships. It shows a lack of self-control, and the fact that they're ok with harming you to get things they want from you. At no time should you stay in a violent relationship. It could cause serious injuries or death. People who love you will never be violent with you. Controlling people can be violent when they want to be. Learn how the Zodiac Signs are in control here: The Zodiac Signs and Control
Gold Digging
Gold digging means using someone in a relationship for money or some other kind of resources. Some people will date only so people will take them out to expensive places. Other people seek out a long-term relationship so that they don't have to pay their own bills. When you really love someone, you share everything that you have with them, but if the other person is not sharing, they are using you for resources or money. You have to really think about whether you want to be in a relationship with someone who sees you as nothing but a source of resources. Group magic can help with prosperity and you can learn about the power of collaboration here: Teamwork: The Power of Strength in Numbers
Dishonesty
Some people say that if they cannot trust someone they love to tell them the truth, they cannot be in a relationship with them. Infidelity, dishonesty about spending money, dishonesty about where you're going, or about things that you have said or done will break down the trust and the relationship. If you catch someone lying to you, especially if it happens often, it means that they do not love and respect you enough to tell you the truth. It can also mean that they're doing things that they know you would not be ok with. Psychic abilities can help indicate when someone is lying to you. Find out how to develop your psychic gifts here: Developing Your Psychic Powers
What to Do About Red Flags
Red flags aren’t small things, but they are things people often ignore in new relationships. We sometimes believe that if we love someone enough, nothing they do matters, and that love can endure anything, no matter how badly something hurts us. Red flags are things that indicate that the relationship is about to turn toxic if it hasn’t already, and toxic things are poisonous. Some smaller red flags can be combatted with communication, but usually, red flags are things that are permanent. The only thing you can do when your loved one won’t stop the behavior indicated by a red flag is to decide if you can live with it or not.
New relationships are just that- new. When you are in a new relationship, you are learning about the person you’re involved with. When people show you their ugly side, you need to believe them. When their red flags are so bad that you can’t endure them, be thankful you found out. If you have to end a relationship because of red flags, know something- Not everybody can live with the problems red flags cause, and if you can’t you’re not alone. Just keep your eyes open in new relationships, watching for red flags. May you always detect red flags early, and never be stuck in a toxic relationship. So Be It.
Do you think you may be seeing some red flags, but you’re not sure? A psychic reading can answer any questions you might have, so get a reading started today!
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for The Green Egg Magazine and PaganPages.Org emag.
