Everybody gets angry sometimes, but anger isn’t always good for you. Learn why it’s best to manage anger instead of allowing it to control you and some great anger management techniques.
Everybody gets angry sometimes, and unfortunately while it doesn't make us feel good, anger is a normal part of being human. What can you do about it? The trick is to manage your anger so it doesn't control you, but is that even possible? Thankfully it is. Join us at SpiritualBlossom as we explain why. Learn what anger is and how it can be healthy but also unhealthy. Find out what kind of problems anger can cause, whether it's wrong to be angry, and some easy techniques to manage your anger. Anger isn't fun to deal with, but believe it or not, you can learn how to use it to your advantage. At the very least you don’t have to let it consume you. Read on to learn how to manage your anger instead of it controlling you.
What is Anger?
“ He is a fool who cannot be angry; but he is a wise man who will not.”- English Proverb
Anger is a strong feeling of indignation, displeasure, or wrath. That is a strong emotional reaction to something and it can trigger hostility. It can be a reaction to something that actually happened or reaction to a perceived offense or injustice. It is considered a basic human emotion that is as normal as sadness or happiness. It's also tied in with our basic survival mechanism. That's part of the fight or flight response and instead of fleeing from a perceived threat, we typically stand our ground and fight when we're angry.
Large things or small things can trigger anger. Getting cut off in traffic by another driver, or being disrespected by your in-laws at a family gathering can make you angry. Some form of trigger causes the anger and then you decide how you will handle it. The more disagreeable you are, some people say the more easily you become angry. The more things you have no control over bother you, the more easily you'll become angry. If you have a difficult time being uncomfortable, you'll get angry more easily. If a situation causes problems for you, it's more likely to make you angry. Dating difficulties can make you angry too. Find out what to do about them here: Why is it So Difficult to Date People?
Why is Anger Healthy?
“ Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”- Seneca
Is anger healthy? Yes and no. Anger causes a surge of adrenaline or energy. Your blood flow and heart rate will increase and your muscles will tense up. This is your body readying itself to fight and it's a protective mechanism. If you get angry a lot, you experience this often and it will compromise your immune system and exhaust your cardiovascular system. This will shorten your lifespan and make the time that you're alive more stressful. It can also compromise your relationships. It can make it difficult for you to think and you can make bad decisions. That can cause communication problems in your neighborhoods, in your personal life, and on the job. It can cause you to make irrational decisions and do things like spend too much money to try and make yourself feel better when you're upset or even abuse substances to try and calm down.
On the other hand, a little bit of healthy anger can be very helpful. If your boundaries are constantly pushed by someone, your anger will alert you that it's a bad relationship. It can put you on notice that you're being disrespected on the job and it can encourage you to stand up for yourself. It can reveal to you what your feelings about certain situations are and if a person or situation makes you angry constantly, it can encourage you to find a situation that is less upsetting. Upsetting things can alert you that it is time for changes. Find out how to manifest new beginnings after changes in life here: How to Manifest Your Life After Changes
Am I Wrong to Be Angry?
“ Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.”- Eckert Tolle
No it is not wrong to get angry. It’s normal to get angry, and it’s also justified sometimes. Anger is just a normal part of being human. The problem is when you are angry too often and it compromises your health or relationships. Another problem is how you react to your anger. What do you do when you are angry? Do you hold it in, or do you let it out in an explosive eruption? Holding your anger in or ignoring it means the situation that made you angry isn't dealt with and things never get better. Having an emotional explosion can escalate a situation into a horrible fight that causes lasting negative consequences. Neither reaction is really a good thing. Controlling emotions is difficult, but can be done. Find out how here: The Ten Best Ways to Control Emotions
The healthiest way to experience anger is to let it show you what's happening and how those things are affecting you. Why does your cousin who causes fights at family dinners anger you? Why does it make you angry and coworkers don't do their share of the work? Why does it make you angry when people lie to you? Why does it make you angry if someone hurts your best friend's feelings? What is it about these situations that are upsetting, and what needs to be done about them?
Maybe your cousin doesn't need to be invited to the family dinners until they can behave. Maybe your manager needs to have a meeting with your lazy coworker. If you're in a relationship with someone who lies, the trust is compromised and maybe you need to rethink that relationship. When your best friend is hurt, you will immediately want to protect them. Anger isn't just supposed to be something that raises our blood pressure. It's supposed to be something that alerts us that something is wrong and needs attention. Things that need change require us to adapt. Learn the power of being adaptable here: Mastering the Fine Art of Being Flexible
How to Manage Anger
Anger can be healthy. Anger can notify us that something is wrong and needs to change. Anger can also let us know what our personal feelings are about something. So, anger is useful. However, if it's not managed it can consume us. There are some very simple techniques you can use to manage your anger so that it doesn't control you. It all begins with being mindful of what your personal triggers are, and then not giving in to wanting to have an emotional reaction. Read on to find some anger management techniques in detail and how you can apply them to some of the most infuriating situations.
“ Anger is a sign that something needs to change,”- Mark Epstein
Know Yourself
What kind of things upset you? Disrespect? Injustice? Unfairness? Everybody gets upset about something. If you are aware of the things that anger you, you can see signs that they're about to happen before they do. It's also fair to say that there are some people who are better at making you angry than some other people are. Remove the risk of becoming angry by avoiding people who push your buttons when you can. Be ready when the things that upset you present themselves. That way you won't be shocked or put in the position to have a reaction before you've had a chance to think about it. Knowing who you are and what upsets you can help you to be your best self. Find out more about that here: How to Be Your Best Self
Be Quiet
Instead of immediately giving a verbal reaction when someone makes you angry, don't say a word. When you're angry, you're more likely to say things that you might later regret. That can unintentionally make a situation much worse than it needs to be. To be fair, someone did something that upset you and that's their fault. Just make sure to take a break and give yourself time to think calmly about how you want to respond so you don't regret things that you say later. One thing you can do instead of speaking in anger is to listen. Learn how to be a great listener here: How to Become Great at Listening
Step Away
Besides being quiet, you can completely remove yourself from an upsetting situation. You are not required to stay in a situation that is toxic, or that hurts you. Taking a break from a situation and letting your hurt feelings decom[press can give you the opportunity to get some helpful perspective. At some time in the future, you can always return to the situation and give a response. Then again, you don't have to. Some things are not worth your time and energy, and completely removing yourself is the best course of action to take. One thing you step on is your path. Learn why you never stray from your own path here: Am I Still on the Path That’s Right for Me?
Refuse to Engage
Even if you remain in a situation, you don't have to fight if people want you to. You don't have to listen or respond to things that are hurtful or upsetting. Even if you do listen, you don't have to internalize those things or allow them to control you. You don't have to participate in an upsetting situation at all if you don't want to. You are certainly allowed to if you would like to. However, refusing to engage when someone is trying to instigate you can completely diffuse a situation and make it go away. Let other people have their petty fights, you can keep your peace. You can protect your energy when people try to instigate an argument. Find out how here: Protecting Your Spiritual Energy
Think About the Big Picture
If something makes you angry enough, you can forget about the things that are most important. An important relationship can end with one harsh word if you let it. People notice the way that you handle anger, and some people will be afraid to talk to you if they feel like you have no control over your emotions. Other people will be excited by this and decide that they will try to instigate you too because they like the drama. Think about what your anger will accomplish and what kind of problems it could cause if you react to it the wrong way. Whatever situation you're in that makes you angry is only one situation in your entire life. Remember how much you have to be grateful for, how much you have to look forward to, and all of the beauty that exists in your life that has no connection to whatever it is that made you angry.Your lifepath is far more important than something that could make you angry. Learn about your lifepath here: What is Your Lifepath?
Be Fair To Yourself
It’s not easy to be the level headed when you are stuck in an infuriating situation. It is possible that what made you angry was more than uncalled for, and you have every right to be angry about it. It’s also possible that what happened is not worth the time and energy it takes to react to that anger, but then again you might decide it is. You are human and other humans can be unbearable to deal with sometimes. Don’t be upset with yourself for being angry. Just think about what reaction is going to be most beneficial. Be fair to yourself and don’t blame yourself for having normal feelings for a bad situation you did not cause. Practice self love and be understanding with your own feelings. Find out about self love here: Practicing Self Love
Using Anger to Your Advantage
“ Turn your pain into anger, anger into motivation, motivation into success.”- Anonymous
Is it possible to use your angry feelings to your advantage? Of course it is. If somebody tells you they don't believe you can accomplish something you've said you can, go ahead and get angry enough to prove them wrong. If you're angry about a new law that hurts you or someone you love, turn that anger into constructive action, and get that law changed. If you have been working on losing weight, and your significant other calls you fat while they're dumping you, use the anger to motivate you to lose the rest of that weight. If your so-called best friend makes you angry every time you get together, use your anger as motivation to find a new best friend. Sometimes anger alerts us that something is wrong and if we make a positive change, things will get better.
Anger isn't fun. It doesn't feel good, and it's not something any of us look forward to experiencing. However, anger is a normal part of life that we all experience. The question is, how will you deal with anger when it presents itself? Will you let it completely control you, allowing you to make decisions that you later regret? Will you manage it, control it, and use it to motivate you to create positive change? Anytime you're in a situation that makes you angry, it's very important that you immediately stop what you're doing and pay attention to your reaction. The right reaction to anger can fix any problem and the wrong reaction to anger can create very damaging situations. So, whenever you're angry, stop, think, and take all the time you need to decide what the best reaction possible is. Someone who controls their own anger is a very powerful individual indeed.
Has something terrible happened that made you so angry you can't think? When that happens there's only one thing to do- get advice. Our psychics can advise you on any topic anytime any day. So get a reading started with us today.
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag.
