Do you know how to let go of someone you love? It’s not easy, but sometimes, it’s necessary. Join Spiritual Blossom to learn all about when and how to let go of a relationship, how to learn to be on your own, healing from pain, and focusing on loving yourself more.
But, I Love Him!
Of course you do. That’s why you are together, but does he love you? Even if he says he does, and you believe it, do you make sense as a couple? You might not, and chances are, if you are reading this, there are problems in your relationship that are making you think you might not be together forever. A breakup isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you, though. The worst thing that could happen is you and the person you love stay in a broken relationship that makes you both unhappy.
Being miserable because you refuse to let go of an unhappy relationship is the worst thing you can do to yourself, and if you truly love somebody, you won’t put them or yourself through it. Sometimes, people stay together because they are afraid of being alone, and other times, people stay together because they feel like they put a lot of hard work into a relationship, and they refuse to give up on it. Relationships shouldn’t be that difficult. They should enrich our lives and we ought to be involved with people who we are happy to see, not people who we struggle to keep.
Letting go of somebody is never easy, and it almost always hurts. The person you have a relationship with might fight to keep the relationship, or you might be fighting to hold on to somebody who just wants to break things off. It’s scary and unless you have lost a relationship with someone you care about before, you might not know how to begin letting go. That’s where we come in. Keep reading to follow our guide for letting go. Learn when to let go, how to let go, and what to do after the breakup. Read more about love: What is the Spiritual Meaning of Love?
When it’s Time to Let Go
Before we get started, let’s talk about three major red flags that will let you know it’s time to let somebody go. If you or your partner are not dedicated to the relationship, let go. If there is abuse, say goodbye. If you have drifted apart or are going in different directions in life, chances are, it’s too late to salvage things, and you need to walk away. Read more about breakups: Breakups with Each of the Signs
One of You Isn’t Devoted
Devotion matters in relationships. It doesn’t matter if you are friends or lovers, if both of you are not committed to making things work, your relationship is doomed. You can see a relationship counselor or just work together to try and find ways to put the spark back into your relationship, and a lot of couples work things out after a renewed focus on things. Sometimes, it doesn’t work. Once it becomes obvious one or both of you isn’t focused on making the relationship work long term, let go. Cancers are quite devoted lovers and you can read about them here: Cancer Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
There is Abuse
Abuse is, unfortunately, not that unusual. The publication verywellhealth reports that one in four women and one in ten men report being the victims of physical abuse in a relationship. Millions of men and women reported being the victims of psychological aggression in relationships also. If you are one of these people, know that your abuser is unlikely to stop treating you this way. They are likely to have abused other people and they will likely abuse other people in the future. You can’t beg, pray, or educate some people into changing. If you are the victim of abuse in your relationship, break up with your abuser.
You Have Grown Apart
People are always changing, growing, and evolving, and sometimes, we change so much, we no longer have anything in common with the person we love. When you grow apart so much you cannot reconcile a lifestyle together, it can cause more damage to try to stay together. Relationships with people who we can no longer share life with can feel strained, burdensome, and hurtful. If you can’t work together as a couple to start moving in the same direction in life together again, it’s okay to let go.
When it’s Time to Work Things Out
Not every relationship that struggles is headed to a break up, however. Because there are no perfect people, there are no perfect relationships. The longer you are with somebody the greater the chances are that some problems will arise, and that is not unusual. If you are both committed to the relationship, you can probably work things out. If you truly love one another, you will make decisions to treat each other well, so things will probably last. Most importantly, if neither of you is selfish and you put each other first, chances are, nothing will break you apart. Read what the Minor Arcana can tell you about love here: Minor Arcana Cards for Love
You Are Both Committed
Is there anything more wonderful than finding someone who you want to commit to for life? There is if you find somebody who feels the same way about you! If both of you are dedicated to one another and making things work, chances are you can work through all problems. This is because devoted people don’t do things that they know will hurt the people who they love. They find out what it takes to make things work, and they do that. They might not even have to think about what is best, they just somehow automatically know how to do it. If both of you are doing this, congratulations, you can probably work out any problems that arise. Tauruses are well known for commitment to their relationships and you can read about them here: Taurus Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
You Truly Love Each Other
Love is not something you can force, and it can’t be faked. Love just is. We don’t choose who we love, but when we truly love people, we care about their feelings, want to do what is best for them, and we are considerate of their needs, wants, and feelings. When somebody loves you, they want to help make your life as great as possible. They want to say and do what makes you happy and they will make sure not to deliberately do anything that bothers you. Love is shown in little things we do and say every day. When you and the person you are with are always supportive, open to each other, and there for one another, it’s love. Love is one of the most important things in this world, and in times when you have nothing but the people who love you, it might feel like you have everything. If you both really love each other, you can work out problems and stay together. Read about how to say I love you here: When Should I Tell Him I Love Him?
You Put each Other First
Who comes first in your life and who puts you first? The people who you put first are the ones you have the potential to work out long-term relationships with. On one condition, that is- if they put you first also. There are some selfish people in the world who will insinuate themselves into the life of someone who puts them first, and they will put this person last every time. However, there really are a lot of people who know how to put the people they love first. If you and the person you love both do this for one another, working out problems will become a top priority, and chances are you will stay together forever.
The Steps to Letting Go
Letting someone you love go is probably not something you want to do, but when the time comes that it is going to happen, how do you do it? First, completely accept this is happening, and say so. Next, embrace the emotional emptiness you feel once they are gone. Then accept healing from the universe.
Accept that This is the Truth
Sometimes, you know for a long time that you must let go of somebody who you love. Maybe they have pulled away from you and maybe you are the one who feels the need to pull away. However, sometimes, you deny the facts and hang onto this person as if your very life depended on it. Most people do this at one time or another, so don’t feel bad about it. When you finally decide it is time to let go, completely admit it to yourself, and don’t deny it anymore. Don’t try to find ways to work things out anymore when you realize that they won’t. Don’t assign blame, and don’t try to make things change. Accept this is the truth and say so. Sometimes, the person you love has already accepted this and having a conversation about it is something they have been waiting for you to initiate. Sagittarians are known for their truthfulness. Read more here: Sagittarius Traits and Love Compatibility
Embrace Solitude
Embracing solitude once you let someone you love go does not mean that you will be all alone. It means you accept the absence of the one you love and fill your heart and time with other things. If you two went to a certain restaurant every Thursday, pick something that makes you happy to do instead. If you feel lonesome once they are gone, find someone else to spend time with. If they took the dog with them, now is the perfect opportunity to give a homeless animal a place in your home and your life. Just because someone you love is gone does not mean your life has to be empty and it does not mean you will never love again. Accept the fact the times you spent with them have come to an end and spend that time doing other things and receiving love from other people.
Open Yourself to Healing
Letting go of someone you love hurts, and it can hurt for a very long time. When you go places and see happy couples together, you might wonder if you will ever have the kind of happy love they have and you might worry that you will never experience happiness again. You can, and you will. You must open yourself to the ugly healing process that comes before the pain stops, though. You will have a lot of feelings and thoughts to sort through, and if you don’t allow yourself to do that, you will stay hurt longer. Open your heart and mind to this process. Journal, see a counselor, speak with a psychic, and ask your friends to bear with you as you grieve and finally emerge healed, and open to new love. Pisces are well known for understanding just what people need to heal and you can read more here: Pisces Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
Do a Self-Love Meditation
This might be the first step to letting someone you love go, and it might be something you want to do afterwards, but it is very important to focus on self-love when you have to let go of somebody who you love. Accepting the ugly feelings of emptiness and loss as you heal is a lot to process and a lot to deal with. Meditating on your right to be loved and loving yourself is crucial. Before you begin, pledge to yourself to never, under any circumstances, tell yourself you do not deserve love or that you deserve to stay stuck in a loveless relationship. Next, list ten different things you love about yourself and ten reasons why you are worthy of happy, healthy love. Repeat this every time you feel unloved, unwanted, or undesirable.
Now What?
Once you decide to let go of somebody you love, what comes next? All good things. You will have let go of fighting to make a relationship work that was not going to, and you have time and space to allow new loves into your life. You might already have plenty of people in your life to love so that you don’t feel an emotional loss from the breakup. That means you will have more time for the people you are lucky enough to have. If there have been things you have wanted to do or places you wanted to go that you never had time for because of the relationship you have let go of, guess what? You have time now! Get out and live life to the fullest, even if you are still healing.
There is so much love to experience, so many great memories to make, and only one way to go in life- forward. Letting go of someone who you love is difficult, and sometimes it feels like part of you is gone when they are. Unfortunately, sometimes, you can’t be involved with somebody forever, no matter how much you love them, and you have to let them go. Some relationships are meant to last for a lifetime, and some are meant to last for a short time, but all relationships offer love, learning, and great experiences. You will move on, heal, and thrive after letting someone go. I promise.
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About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Spiritual Blossom. She has written for Mysticsense and PaganPagesOrg emag.
