We all have big hopes and dreams, but unrealistic expectations create unfair illusions that set us up for disappointment. Learn how to balance your hopes and dreams with being realistic and let go of expecting too much.
“Be realistic,” we hear from some people- not always people who we think know what they are talking about. It’s not always fun to focus on the way things really are, but if we don’t, we are in a lot of trouble. Join SpiritualBlossom to explore facing reality. Find out about being realistic vs being unrealistic and if people who claim there are multiple realities are right. Find out why we are unrealistic sometimes, and the issues it causes. Find out signs you are being unrealistic and how to change- and embrace reality. Life isn’t always the way we want it to be but facing things and changing them is far better than pretending!
What is Being Realistic?
“I’m being angry because I have an unrealistic expectation of how another person should be acting. I need to let that go.”- Terry Crewes
Being realistic is something not everyone seems to be able to do. It means that you have a rational understanding of situations, accepting the facts for the way that they are, accepting limitations, and not letting your hopes or emotions decide how you view things. You make decisions based on what's likely to be possible and what can be achieved. You take available resources, time constraints, and abilities into consideration. You might love the idea of perfection, but you realize that it's not always possible. You deal with things for the way that they really are, instead of the way that you wish they were.
Examples of being realistic include spending money in a way that's affordable given your income and wealth level, instead of what you would like to spend. When you're setting goals, you set fair time frames and take possibilities and capabilities into account. You're fair to the people that you have relationships with, accepting them for the way that they are instead of trying to change them to suit you. If you have hopes and dreams and want things to change, instead of pretending that things are already the way that you want them, you take steps to make change happen. You will also accept when it is time to move on- but you might need magic for that. Learn magic for moving on here: How Can I Forget Someone? Spells for Moving On
Are There Multiple Realities?
“ People may live different realities, but the truth is always the same.”- Penelope Douglas
There are two types of thinking about the possibility of multiple realities. Some people say that cosmically, worlds within worlds exist in the universe, and these worlds collide at times. Some say a spirit realm exists beside the physical realm of the living and we can communicate with these spirit beings. Other people say that alternate realities where other lifeforms exist are pocketed within our own world, hidden from us. There is no way to prove either of these theories, but some people believe them very strongly.
There are other people who believe that our perception creates the reality we live within. These people say that perception is reality. This is because whatever people believe to be true dictates their behavior. For example, if you believe that you have enough gas in your car, you won't stop and get more gas. However, when you run out of gas because you don't have enough, it doesn't matter whether you believe that you had plenty or not. You didn't. Our perception might dictate our beliefs, but beliefs don't make things true. So, there are actually not multiple realities. There is only one reality, and that means the way that things truly are. What we believe might not create reality but belief is powerful. Find out why here: What Happens When You Believe? Why it Matters
Why We Can Be Unrealistic
“ Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic.”- Tim Ferriss
We are unrealistic even though we know how things actually are. When we don't like the way that things are, we pretend that a more comfortable truth exists. If you don't like the fact that you're diabetic, you might keep eating sugar anyways. If you don't like the fact that your girlfriend is cheating on you, then you may pretend that she doesn't. If you don't like the way that you look since you stopped going to the gym, instead of going back, you might just stop looking in the mirror. We are unrealistic because we prefer to believe something that is more pleasant than the way that things really are. Radical independence is simply an unrealistic illusion. Find out more here: The Problem with Being Radically Independent
Why Being Unrealistic Hurts
“Clinging to unrealistic expectations, we can become our own worst enemies.”- John Hoover
Being unrealistic holds us back from operating in step with the way that things really are. It can make things difficult for the people who love us, especially if they're counting on us to do things. It doesn't hurt anyone as much as it hurts the person who's being unrealistic. Pretending that you didn't injure your ankle won't make you not injured. If you keep walking around on a broken ankle, it's just going to make the injury worse. Pretending that you have more money in your bank account than you do might mean you buy the things that you really want. However, the overdraft fees that you pay make you spend more money than you have you in the long run.
Sometimes the truth hurts, it's inconvenient, or it’s just not fun. That's not nearly as bad as the consequences that come with being unrealistic sometimes. When other people are involved, it affects them as much as it affects you. When people are counting on you to show up on time, but you don't want to admit to yourself that you're running late, they'll end up late because of you. When members of your team are counting on you to do part of a group project, pretending that your part isn’t important doesn't make it so. Being unrealistic keeps us from participating fully in the present moment. Inner peace can keep you grounded in the present moment too. Find out how here: Inner Calm in the Midst of Chaos
Signs of Being Unrealistic
“ When my friends told me I was delusional, I about fell off my unicorn.”- Anonymous
Maybe it's fair to say that everybody is unrealistic sometimes, especially when the truth hurts. What are signs of being unrealistic? Anytime the facts are ignored, that's a sign of being unrealistic. Being inflexible, meaning being stubborn or refusing to change, as another sign of being unrealistic. Hiding from things and situations that are upsetting and blaming everyone else for your own problems are also two big signs of being unrealistic.
You Ignore Facts
Truthfully, sometimes we don't have all the facts. However, if you do, and you choose to ignore them because the truth is ugly, inconvenient, or simply hurts, it won’t help. The truth is the way that things actually are. Ignoring the truth won't change it. However, ignoring it will keep you from functioning properly. For example, if you pretend there's not a hole in your tire, and embark on a road trip, you’re going to get a flat tire anyways. Ignoring that hole in the tire isn't going to miraculously keep it from going flat. Ignoring your food allergy won't make it go away. It will just make sure that you get sick if you eat the food you're allergic to.
You’re Inflexible
There are things we all don't want to do. If we're having fun, we might not want to go to bed on time. We might not want to eat our vegetables. We might not want to dress up for a party. However, sometimes we have to do what we don't want to. Being stubborn and insisting that we're not going to do what we know we're supposed to isn't going to change what we need to do. It's just going to make us difficult people to deal with and it's going to make things harder for us in the long run. Sometimes we have to be stubborn about our personalities though. Find out the benefits of being naturally deviant here: Social Deviance- Daring to be Different
You Hide from Upsetting Things
Pretending that upsetting things aren't happening might be a defense mechanism, but it's not going to change anything. Pretending that your best friend didn't start drinking again isn't going to make them sober. Don't give them the keys to your car. Pretending that your employee is doing their job when you know they're not isn't going to make the job get done. You might have to replace them. The inability to change or adapt to situations, thinking that this will force situations to go the way you want shows a poor grasp of reality. Don't do it to yourself.
You Blame Everyone Else
Sometimes, life isn't fair. Sometimes things are out of your control, you’ve done everything you can to fix things, and there's nothing you can do. Sometimes, you are completely responsible for what happens though. If you can't take accountability for the things that you create, you're never going to have control of your own life. Blaming your friend who cooks well for the fact that you eat three plates of food when you should eat one shifts the responsibility for your health on to someone else. Even though we can't control everything in life, we have to take responsibility for the things that we can. Never blame a Virgo for what they know is your fault. Read more about that Zodiac Sign here: Virgo Traits and Love Compatibility
How to Become Realistic
“Sure, there are many bad things that can happen, yet you can be aware of them, and realistic about them, without being obsessed and consumed by them.”- Ralph Marston
It's not fun to be realistic sometimes, but it's important. The road to becoming realistic is not a difficult one. It's dictated by attitude. The first thing you need to do is become informed about the way that things really are, and they just accept the facts. Adapt as necessary. However, let's be honest and realistic- If something is unacceptable, change it.
Get Informed
The first step to being realistic is finding out exactly what reality is. We're all so busy with what we're doing in life and what our hopes and dreams are, we might have no idea about how things actually are. So, we're going to have to pay attention, ask questions, and get involved until we get the answers. The answers are out there, and they might be ugly. However, it's always best to find out exactly the way that things are instead of being in the dark about them.
Accept the Facts
Once you have discovered how things really are, no matter how upsetting they may be, just accept the truth for the way that it is. If your best friend stabbed you in the back, they stabbed you in the back and nothing's going to change that. If you're not getting the promotion, you're not getting the promotion. If you weren't accepted into the study program you wanted, you weren't. Reality isn't fun sometimes, but it is what it is. If you want the cold hard facts and advice about things, ask a Libra, because they'll tell you. Learn more about that Zodiac sign here: Libra Traits and Love Compatibility
Adapt
Being inflexible to things won't change them. Changing in compliance with the way that things are will help you. When you don't get that promotion, if the company has passed you up multiple times, it looks like time for a different job if you want to move up in your career. Go get one. If your friend stabbed you in the back, confront them, and don't trust them like you did before. If you didn't get into the study program that you wanted to, you can either reapply with the same group as you did before, or try again with another one. Things change in life all the time, and the ability to change with things means you will have more opportunities, be happier, and live a fuller life. Go for it.
Change What You Can’t Accept
Let's face it, sometimes things are unacceptable. Once you accept what's happening, that doesn't mean that you have to stand for it. Raise your voice to injustice. Stand up for yourself. Ask why you were passed up for the promotion that you earned. Then ask for them to reconsider. Go over people's heads to higher management for things if you have to. Ask questions. Sometimes a simple inquiry will make things right, but be prepared. It doesn't always. Sometimes you have to devote to a long haul course of questioning for change.
People might tell you that it's unrealistic for you to expect certain things, but when you know in your heart that something is right, don't give up. Life is meant for a living, and we all deserve to be happy. There are some things that are out of our control, but sometimes we were born to make better things happen. So don't give up just because someone else wants you to. That would be unacceptable. A healthy amount of assertiveness will help you to make positive changes happen. Find out how to be assertive here: Learn to Be Assertive and Speak Your Truth
Accepting life and the things in it for the way they really are is important. It helps us to live in the here and now. Just get ready to roll up your sleeves and get to work when there are terrible things happening that you can't accept. The most unrealistic thing that you can do is to not create the positive change that you know the world needs to see. Go and create a better reality!
Would you like to know how to create positive change? Get a psychic reading started to find out how today.
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag and Green Egg Magazine.
