Diplomacy is the ability to say difficult things in a graceful way. Learn how to be diplomatic even in the most difficult situations, and how to use your words to make people feel at ease no matter what.
Some people are impossible to please. Some are irritable, rude, and some of them even take pride in being this way. Some people just seem to know how to handle these difficult people in a way that makes them feel good about being handled. This is called the fine art of diplomacy. Anyone can learn to be diplomatic, and we're here to tell you how. Join SpiritualBlossom to discover what diplomacy is and why anybody can master it. Find out what happens when things are said wrong and simple ways to be diplomatic. Even if your tact and diplomacy isn’t great, after you read this article, it can be. So read on to find out how!
What is Diplomacy?
“Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.”- Winston Churchill
Diplomacy is dealing with people effectively and with sensitivity. It's especially important in handling delicate situations. Another word for diplomacy is tact. Tactful people know how to have difficult conversations without damaging relationships. They understand people deeply and can tell what needs to be said especially when someone is being irrational. They know how to share bad news compassionately. They tend to be great at negotiating too.
Diplomacy includes problem solving, because let's face it. If there weren't problems, no one would need to be diplomatic. They know how to get people on board with solving problems, not taking things personally, and accepting constructive criticism. People who are diplomatic have the ability to stay calm and are polite to everyone even when they get upset. They understand that difficult situations are not a personal attack on them, and they're more interested in fixing things than validating their own feelings. Geminis are known as great mediators and you can read about that Zodiac sign here: Gemini Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
Can We All Be Diplomatic?
“ The best diplomacy starts with getting to know each other.”- George W. Bush
Believe it or not, even the most undiplomatic people can learn to be diplomatic. You just have to want to. It's not always easy, especially if you're an emotional person or someone whose feelings get hurt easily. You can learn to set your own feelings aside and focus on communicating well with other people instead. Maybe somebody deserves to be told off, but if you're diplomatic you won't do it. That’s because you understand it’s not helpful.
When you start learning to be diplomatic, you might make some mistakes at first. You might give people a piece of your mind, or lose your temper. People who are being extra difficult might make you wonder why you're even bothering to begin with. Just don't give up. Sometimes, the most easily upset and sensitive people can be the most diplomatic because they know how it feels to be hurt. So, they will go out of their way to help because they don't want anybody else to experience what they have. Being adaptable helps if you want to be diplomatic and you can learn how to do that here: Mastering the Fine Art of Being Flexible
When Things Are Said Wrong
“ All war represents a failure of diplomacy.”- Tony Benn
The whole reason why diplomacy is necessary is because when things are said the wrong way, it makes everything so much worse. When people are already upset and you are the one that's in charge of creating solutions, that is the last thing you want. There are harsh ways to say things and reassuring ways to say things. When you're giving somebody bad news, being compassionate and caring about the person's feelings when you're giving that news is crucial. If you're just annoyed that you have to handle bad news, it's going to make them feel so much worse. When things are said the wrong way, and by that we mean harshly, it makes the way that people react more difficult to deal with in the long run.
Even if you don't have a personal relationship with people who you're giving bad news or handling a difficult situation with, the aftermath will be harder on you if you don't have some finesse and how you say things. When you are trusted with handling difficult people or difficult situations, it is a sacred honor. The people who have trusted you with this are counting on you, because they believe that you have what it takes to make everything better. Just remembering what an honor it is to serve might be enough to convince you to be tactful in your communications with people. There will come a time when people don't necessarily express appreciation for how diplomatic you are, but they will come down on you if you're not diplomatic enough. Being compassionate can help you with being diplomatic. Read about leading a compassionate life here: Living a Purposefully Compassionate Life
Tips for Mastering Diplomacy
“ Diplomacy is letting someone else have your way.”- Lester B. Pearson
Since diplomacy is so important and things can go badly if things are said wrong, what are some simple tips that everybody can follow to be diplomatic? There are some dos and some don'ts to being diplomatic. Remember, not doing the wrong thing is just as important as doing the right thing, so read on for some simple tips on how to be diplomatic.
Don’t
The first thing you need to know is what not to do. When you begin communications, avoid being accusatory or self-serving. Don't rush communications or be impatient. Finally, don't devalue people.
Be Accusatory
Let's be honest. Sometimes you know exactly what happened and what somebody did wrong, but the last thing you want to do is put them on the defensive when you're trying to explain what needed to be done instead. Accusing somebody of doing something terrible when you're trying to resolve a situation instead of identifying what needs to be done instead is a very bad idea. Depending on how bad the offense was, it will definitely need to be addressed, however focusing on what's desirable instead of what is undesirable is a better way to start the conversation to be diplomatic in a difficult situation. Don't accuse a Libra of things because they won't appreciate it. Read more about that Zodiac sign here: Libra Traits and Love Compatibility
Be Self Serving
People can immediately tell from your attitude if a communication is about you or them. You want to always communicate that as the person being diplomatic, your intentions are to help them. That will get them interested and cooperating with you. The easiest way to demotivate people from working with you is to behave as if you are the only one who matters. To be fair, sometimes you just want to take care of the situation so that you can stop dealing with it and that's understandable. However, never let people know this. Make them believe that you have their best interests in heart, are there to serve them, and they will be a lot more cooperative.
Rush Communications
Rushing communications by demanding that people meet a deadline to resolve things is a very bad idea when you're trying to be diplomatic. It's only natural to want to get things taken care of as quickly as possible. However, trying to rush things will prevent you from getting the best results and it will make people feel pushed. Some people say all the best things come to those who wait, and waiting for the right results and the right time to get them is crucial. Tauruses can be very good at waiting for the right time to get results. Read more about that Zodiac sign here: Taurus Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
Be Impatient
Nothing feels worse during a difficult time than when the person who is supposed to be mediating becomes impatient. When you become impatient, you will stop listening, place demands on people, and people will shut down and resist cooperating with you. It is very difficult to be patient during difficult times for a lot of reasons. One reason is that difficulties are stressful and you just don't want to deal with them at all. Patiently listen, patiently seek solutions, and patiently deal with things calmly. That is the diplomatic way.
Devalue People
Without your people, you have nothing. Never forget that. They are very important, even if they have made a mistake and you have to diplomatically deal with it. In your relationships, in your community, and on your work team, your people are your most important resource. They will help you get things done, propel you to success, and make everything you do worthwhile. When you are diplomatically dealing with someone, no matter how much they frustrate you, don't unfairly criticize them, name call them, or fail to appreciate their contributions. This is how to be diplomatic. Being humble helps you to remember all this. Learn how to be humble here: Humbleness - The Art of Defeating Your Ego
Do
What about what you should do when you are being diplomatic? Listen as much or more than you talk and sugarcoat things even if you’re not good at it. Be anti-confrontational and reword things as many times as you have to. Finally, choose your timing wisely for when you have your diplomatic conversations.
Listen
When it’s your job to diplomatically handle something, you need to do more listening than talking. People will give you cues for exactly what it is that you need to do to handle things well. Also, listening to people's feelings, suggestions, and what they offer to resolve things will let them know that you care about them. If people believe that you care about them, they are more likely to listen to constructive criticism, improve their performance, and apologize for mistakes. If you don't listen, people will shut down on you and it is a very bad way to handle diplomacy. Learn how to be a good listener here: How to Become Great at Listening
Sugarcoat It
Some people like to brag that they're blunt and don't sugarcoat things. All they're telling you is that they don't care about being delicate with other people's feelings. You have to if you want to be diplomatic. Be gentle with people's feelings, what triggers them, and what their needs are. Bragging that you are indelicate with the way that you say things and handle things is simply admitting that you can be thoughtless and don’t mind hurting people sometimes. Not sugar coating makes diplomacy impossible, so if you want to be diplomatic, sugarcoat it.
Be Anti-Confrontational
Being confrontational puts people on the defensive. On the other hand, wording things in a non-confrontational way is diplomatic. For example, if a member of your team is always late, immediately telling them they will be terminated if they're late one more time is likely to make them quit just as easily as it makes them want to show up on time. You can tell them, on the other hand, that they are an important member of the team, and you need them to be there on time to help you get the job done. Asking them to help you with that is a more effective way to get them to do what you want them to do and it's much more diplomatic. Are you the one who's always late? Learn some time management skills here: Time and Management Skills- Plan Life Magically
Reword Things
Word choice matters when you want to be diplomatic. Telling someone the color they chose for the project is hideous is an ineffective choice of words. Telling them that you need them to choose a color that is not as bright and needs to harmonize better with the other colors is a much better way to be diplomatic, and it's also more specific about what needs to change. You may have to say things differently if someone doesn't understand what you're trying to explain. It's time consuming and annoying. Do it anyway. The goal of diplomacy is to get results, not save yourself annoyance or time. It is always worth it to say things as many different ways as you need to in order to get the results that you want. So say it once, twice, or ten or more times, whatever it takes.
Choose When to Say Things
To be diplomatic, you need to know when the best time to say things is. Before your irritable coworker has had their coffee, announcing a discrepancy in their paperwork is a bad idea. Wait until they've had their coffee and they will be more willing to listen to you. Telling your neighbor they are about to be fined right before they go on vacation is bad timing also. Wait until they get back and are well rested and in a good mood. Then tell them what they need to do to avert the fine. Being diplomatic means being sensitive to things, including when the best time to do and say things is. So, choose your times wisely. When the time is right, be assertive. Learn assertiveness here: Learn to Be Assertive and Speak Your Truth
Diplomacy is the art of saying things in such a way that you make everybody feel good. It helps to soothe tempers and find solutions when things have gone wrong. Some people say not everyone can be diplomatic, but that's not true. Just make sure you don't accuse people of anything, rush things, or devalue your people. Instead, listen to people, sugarcoat it, and reword things as often as you need to. Diplomacy might not have been your strong suit in the past, but it can be. If you really care about people's feelings and making people feel good, you can learn to be diplomatic.
Want more tips on how to diplomatically handle a difficult situation? Get a reading started with one of our talented psychics today to find out how.
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag and Green Egg Magazine.
