“Ghosting” is a word we hear a lot, but what does it mean? Discover what ghosting is, why it happens, and what to do if you have been ghosted.
Ghosting sounds scary, doesn’t it? It’s something that probably happens to all of us , and there is a good chance it’s something we call do. In modern times, it’s considered one of the rudest things to do, but is it? Join SpiritualBlossom to learn about ghosting. Find out exactly what it is and a few reasons why it happens. Find out how people feel about being ghosted, and about ghosting in general, and find out perhaps the most important thing of all. Find out what to do about being ghosted!
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is a way to end communication in a relationship. When someone ghosts you they abruptly end communication with you and don't explain why. It happens in business communications, between neighbors, in families, and in long term personal relationships also. A lot of times though, it happens when we first meet someone who we decide that we don't want to have anything to do with. It happens a lot after first dates, and it happens a lot during early communications with people we're considering dating. You may think that your first date went well, and they won't answer your calls and they don't call you back. That's ghosting. Has somebody fallen in love with you? Find the signs here: How Do I Know if He Loves Me?
Types and Reasons for Ghosting
Ghosting really only happens for one reason. It happens because somebody decides that they don't want to talk anymore. This is different from someone losing your phone number or getting busy and not having time to touch base with you. There are deeper reasons for them not wanting to talk to you. Sometimes they're just not interested in communicating with you and other times they are upset about something. Sometimes they would love to let you know what’s wrong, they are just too anti confrontational to address the issue.
Someone is Not Interested
We've all been there. We've been fixed up with this person who our friends feel is just perfect for us, and sitting with that person for 5 minutes just makes us want to run out the door. There's no denying that sometimes we can instantly tell that we don't have any interest in communicating with somebody, and if we haven't already established a relationship with them, it might seem pointless to let them know that you don't want to pursue one. What about when someone feels that way about you? They might ghost you instead of letting you know that they don't want to spend time with you.
It feels very personal when someone ghosts you whether it's in a long-term relationship with a friend, if it's at work, or if it's someone who we've just met. It really isn't though. Today, it might be more common than ever, and Forbes reports that even job seekers deal with it. In 2021, they reported that only 27% of employers said they had not ghosted candidates they were not interested in. It can leave people feeling confused and feeling defeated. Some people say COVID triggered more employer ghosting with 77% saying they have been ghosted after applying for jobs and 10% saying they were ghosted even after being OFFERED the job! Read more from Forbes here: A New Study By Indeed Confirms That Ghosting During The Hiring Process Has Hit Crisis Levels
Someone Is Upset
PJ had been friends with Jean for about a year or two. They somehow ended up being neighbors also. One day, PJ just completely stopped speaking to Jean at all. Jean told their mutual friend, Abigail about it, so Abigail asked PJ what happened. PJ was very angry with Jean. She said she only heard from Jean when Jean wanted something. PJ had fixed Jean's car, and done various other favors for Jean, but Jean never did anything for PJ and never reached out to PJ to just spend time together. So PJ decided to just terminate the friendship and didn’t feel like she owed an explanation to Jean.
If you know someone who has recently expressed racist views, very poor manners, lack of compassion for marginalized people, cruelty toward animals, unkindness to their own family, or any repelling behavior, you might not feel that it is in your best interest to have anything to do with such a person anymore. They may have embarrassed you in public, or just upset you with how unkindly they behave and you don't even want to bother telling them how you feel about it. You just don't ever want to talk to them again. Even if you feel like you have to go ghost somebody, that doesn't mean terminating a relationship will break your heart. You consult your Tarot cards about heartbreak and find out what the Major Arcana has to say about that here: Major Arcana Readings about Heartbreak
Someone is Anti Confrontational
Some people can't bear to have difficult conversations. This can be for a lot of different reasons. If they have tried to work out a problem with somebody they loved many times and the person swears they will change, but never does, one day they might just get fed up and leave without saying a word. Some people don't want to get into an argument or even a mild disagreement and will avoid discussing something so they don't feel like they have to. In a new relationship, or a new acquaintance, people might feel like they haven't put enough time or energy into a relationship to even bother to explain and it makes them very nervous to think about having to do so.
It might seem insulting when somebody ghosts you because they're anti confrontational, but emotionally, some people cannot handle it. This can be because of Zodiac signs or personality, and it can also be because of things like depression, anxiety disorder, or just dealing with stress. Illness and chronic pain can make it difficult for people to deal with confrontation also. If you know someone who has any of these things going on and they ghost you, never take it personally. They either don't feel good or are struggling and could use some understanding. They might also just be a highly sensitive person. You can read about hypersensitive people and find out if you are one here: Are You One of the Highly Sensitive People?
How Does It Feel to be Ghosted?
Ghosting feels upsetting to a lot of people. They feel like they deserve to know why communication was cut off and just being ignored feels disrespectful. There will come a time when all of us meet someone who we're not interested in spending time with and there will also come a time when somebody says or does something to us that upsets us and makes us uncomfortable with them. When this happens with a stranger, a lot of people won't feel any emotional responsibility to explain why they don't want to be around. But still, a lot of people feel that they deserve the respect and dignity of being treated courteously.
Some people take it as a sign of what the person is like if they ghost them, and they are not sad that they're not communicating with them. They feel like people who ghost them are rude and are not worth their time. They focus on the good people who they have in their lives and don't worry about people who they don't think belong. Some people are perfectly comfortable with ghosting other people if they feel the situation calls for it, and they don't take it personally if someone else ghosts them. After all, it is estimated that someone who is social will meet about 80,000 people in their life- so it’s not possible to develop a long, deep relationship with all of them. Read more here: The limits of our personal experience and the value of statistics - Our World in Data
How to Respond to Ghosting
There are a few ways that you can respond to ghosting. Truthfully, the first thing you can do is just ignore it and move on with your life as if you never even met the person before, but not everybody likes to take that approach. You can follow up with the person, to see if maybe they got busy and they didn't mean to ghost you. You can reach out to ask why they ghosted you. Even if you reach out to see what's going on if things don't go the way that you expect, you might find that you need to completely step away.
Follow Up
Especially when you meet new people who you really like, they may not understand that you like them that much. It never hurts to let them know. Maybe they were waiting for you to follow up after our first meeting, and they will be pleasantly surprised to hear from you. After a first meeting, sometimes people get busy or they might mislay your contact information. If you reach out to them again, they might be glad to hear from you. Then again, they might not. If you like someone enough to hope that you heard from them again it's worth it to take a chance and find out.
If you've been in a relationship with someone for a while and you stop hearing from them, there's nothing wrong with reaching out to them when you've not heard from them for a while. Sometimes things happen in our lives, and we become overwhelmed with work, problems, or not feeling well. If you care about someone and they've been a part of your life for a while, reach out and let them know. Following up when you think that someone who you have an established relationship with has ghosted you might be exactly what they need. When we go through difficult times, hearing from a friend who cares about us can give us the strength to face whatever difficulties we're going through. Read about the love of friends here: All About the Love of Friends
Ask Why
When you follow up to talk to someone who ghosted you, if they don't act happy to hear from you, the next question can be, “Is there something wrong?” Sometimes there is and someone just needs our help initiating the conversation. This can be the first step to finding solutions to whatever is going on, and maybe the person who ghosted you isn't upset with you or doesn't dislike you at all, they have just have things going on. Days, weeks, and months can go by while we're feeling overwhelmed by the stresses of life, and keeping in touch with other people while we're struggling can seem impossible. Someone who you met for the first time might have gotten a bad impression and it was because they misunderstood something. You can clarify things and move forward with getting to know each other if you reach out.
When you reach out to someone and specifically ask what's going on, it can surprise them and make them respect you. Some people don't like that, but if it's someone you've just met and they're upset because you asked them a simple question like that, it's a very good indicator that they don't want to open themselves up to honest communication. That can give you the closure that you need when you realize that a relationship is not going to work. There's nothing wrong with reaching out and asking. It's a great way to engage your listening skills. Would you like to become a better listener? Read here to find out how: How to Become Great at Listening
Step Away
Some people ghost because they just don’t want to talk anymore. It is more respectful to explain that to people. It is not polite to just ignore somebody, especially when you have had a relationship for any period of time, but it happens. When you have followed up, and tried to find out why the ghosting happens, and it continues, you have to quit trying to reach out if the other person doesn’t respond. It won’t be easy. Stepping away won’t make you stop hurting, but after you have tried everything else, there is nothing else you can do.
Why? You have to step away because someone has made it clear that you are not a priority to them. They have let you know that communicating with you is not something that they want. Ghosting might just be someone's failure to prioritize time with you, when they very well could. In that case, their silence is the answer to the question of whether or not they want to. If they wanted to make time for you they would. Some people who ghost you would be angry if you stepped away instead of begging for their attention, but you have to do what's right for you. Don't worry if somebody doesn't like you, and have the courage to let them. Find out how here: How to Have the Courage to Be Disliked
When you first meet someone, and they ghost you, it means they don't want to contact you. If you've been in a long-term relationship and someone ghosts you, it means they don't want to talk to you. Ghosting isn't nice and it hurts, but it happens. There's nothing wrong with being the first one to reach out, but when ghosting continues, the only thing you can do is give the other person's space and go on with your life. If someone doesn't want you in their life, don't make that your problem. Let them ghost you and move on with your beautiful relationships with your friends, family, and lovers.
Have you been ghosted and you don't know why? A psychic can find out why and give you the support to move on if their relationship is over, so get a reading with us started today.
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for The Green Egg Magazine and PaganPages.Org emag.
